


Afterglow

by WordsLeftUnspoken



Series: What It Means to Stay Alive Universe [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional Sex, Established Relationship, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Hell Flashbacks, M/M, Memories, Seriously A LOT of Fluff, Sleepiness, Soft Thiam, Trust, Vulnerability, big brother Scott, giving up control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-22 15:44:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12485108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsLeftUnspoken/pseuds/WordsLeftUnspoken
Summary: Finally. The chaos has been quieted; the threats resolved. Long suppressed words have been revealed, and secrets confessed. Both Theo and Liam have laid their souls bare for each other, marveling at the effects of giving in to who they truly want. But it’s easier to breathe whispers in the darkness of the night, and like it or not, daybreak will always arrive with tomorrow just around the corner. How long can they stay lost in each other before the world catches up?Can be read as a multi-chapter epilogue to What It Means to Stay Alive, outlining the weekend that follows the final chapter. I’ll add more tags as I go because I don’t want to spoil anything. Will have alternating perspectives throughout the chapters as usual, and ratings will also jump around.





	1. Can You Live with the Sunrise?

Liam was terrified that he would wake up in the morning completely alone; that Theo would once again run away as far as he could go at the first crack of dawn. They had fallen asleep effortlessly the night before, seemingly irretrievably tangled in each other; he easily pulled Theo’s back against his chest, the Chimera resting his head on Liam's arm and settling in with a sigh. They had been surrounded by warm blankets, but focused only on the presence of an even warmer body pressed up against them. But even still, amid the buzzed and brilliant beauty that effused throughout Liam's brain, there was a fear that in a small handful of precious hours, Theo would be gone once again. And maybe for good this time.

So when he’s lightly shaken awake by a shifting of weight on the mattress and the clock reads 3:00 A.M., his heart swoops painfully. They didn’t even make it until daylight. The stark cold is shocking as the blankets are pushed aside gently and the body previously molded to his own slips away. The sound of his bare feet on the hardwood moving out of the room is barely audible; a practiced skill. And Liam... Liam is completely paralyzed. The only thing he can move is his eyes, and they open just in time to catch a tall, familiar form exiting through his bedroom doorway. His throat is tight and straining and his mouth is dry, making the possibility of getting a word out utterly impossible. His face feels hot, and almost embarrassingly, he realizes his body is trying to cry, but it’s too shocked to make anything actually happen.

His mind starts second guessing everything that’s happened between them, looking for signs that he misinterpreted something. But he’s certain Theo felt the same things he did; the same lust, the same connection, the same adoration, the same all-consuming need to hold on and never let go. He’s _certain_. It was in his eyes, in his words, in his touch, subtly dancing along his skin like a message that only Liam could read. It was _there_. Isn’t it still? Or have the toxic voices finally won out yet again, leaving him with nothing but memories and the hollow echo of a closing front door? Was that it? One night? Is that all they get to have? It’s not enough; it can never be enough, because he will never have sufficient amounts of the miraculous sensation of them falling together and breathing the same air.

 

Liam hears water from the sink splash onto the porcelain in the bathroom down the hall; the noise thunderously loud in the otherwise silent night, and his heart effectively ceases beating.

_Theo hasn’t left._

His eyes squeeze shut until it hurts, barely letting himself breathe, hoping with everything he has that the footsteps will walk back up the hallway and not downstairs to collect their clothes where they were left, carelessly scattered, from last night. It’s maybe only ten seconds before another sound of movement, but it feels like ten minutes before he hears footsteps again.

And they’re slowly coming back toward his room.

Liam lets out a sigh, trying to expel the anxiety that was building steadily in his chest and starting to oppress his lungs.

Bathroom. He was just going to the bathroom.

He hears Theo stop right next to the bed. He doesn’t move for almost a minute, like he’s standing there watching, and Liam can’t help it, he opens his eyes, somehow finding the Chimera’s immediately in the darkness. Theo looks slightly self-conscious at being caught in such an unashamedly affectionate position, but covers it quickly, leaning over with one knee on the mattress to flick away piece of Liam’s hair that had fallen into his eyes and smirking lightly. He gathers the blankets up and crawls under them, sliding back into their original position like it’s the most natural thing in the world, lowering his head once again onto Liam’s still outstretched arm that lays across the pillows with a calm exhale.

His earlier panic almost seems dramatic now, considering the way Theo has slipped back into bed and pressed their bodies close, warming each other like this is the only possible option. But it’s not. And for some reason, the memory of waking up a couple of days ago to find Theo gone hasn’t entirely left his brain. Liam knows by listening to his breathing that they’re both still awake, but only barely. Which means this might be his only chance to say something. To prevent something. He’s not going to let it go.

 

“I thought you were leaving,” Liam whispers into the night, hating how vulnerable he sounds; but there aren’t many secrets left between them, and he refuses to create one more by hiding it.

Theo turns his head slightly, hair brushing his arm, so Liam can just see the side of his face. He almost looks uneasy, muscles tensing somewhat, and instantly he wants to soothe them. “Do you want me to leave?” the Chimera asks quietly, and his heart clenches unbearably at the thought.

Liam desperately buries his face in Theo’s neck, inhaling his scent and letting himself get lost in it for a few blissful seconds, unwinding the aching grip on his heart. “No,” he answers against his skin after he comes back to himself, voice hushed but absolutely undoubtable. Almost immediately after his succinct, painfully honest reply he feels the tight muscles against him loosen, and hears a slow breath of air.

Theo tilts his head back so their cheeks brush softly, brown eyes closed serenely. “Then I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs, echoing the words Liam promised to him in the truck on their first late-night drive in a way that’s too perfect to be coincidence.

A comforting heat explodes from Liam’s chest and expands through his whole body as Theo’s head drops firmly back down again, like the decision is made. Liam wraps one leg around Theo’s hip and pulls him slightly closer, just because he can. Because he’s not holding him there; not really. He’s not forcing him to stay. At least-

“Theo?”

“Hm?” is the quiet, muffled answer, as if he’s already falling back asleep.

“Do _you_ want to leave?” he asks quietly, because he has to be sure they’re both on the same page. That this isn’t out of some weird obligation. He feels Theo’s lips twitch upward where his head is pressed against Liam’s arm.

“Liam,” Theo says slowly, a touch of exasperation, and mostly fondness. He doesn’t want to say the words. Well, too bad. If Liam had to say them, then so does he. He brushes his nose against Theo’s cheek, silently insisting.

No response.

Giving up at non-verbal cues, he quietly breathes Theo’s name into his ear, and that makes him raise his head, turning to half-look at him again. He is indeed mostly asleep, and quite definitely at least mildly annoyed. But at least he’s finally listening.

“I don’t want you to stay just because _I_ want you to,” Liam says quietly, suddenly feeling slightly exposed. “I want you to stay because _you_ want to.”

Any frustration on Theo’s face dissolves in an instant, and his eyes dawn with realization in the darkness of the room, shining with unconcealed affection. “I want to,” he reassures softly, reaching to press a kiss on Liam’s bare shoulder. Theo tugs on his remaining arm to encircle his chest as he turns back to sleep, holding it close to his body and keeping him in place - as if the words weren’t enough.

But they were enough. They were perfect. Because they were honest. And because they were Theo’s.

xxxxx

Liam doesn’t want to admit just how many times in the past he’s had to drag his mind away from imagining what it would be like to wake up in the morning next to Theo. If they would stay wrapped up in each other past dawn, or migrate far away across the bed throughout the night. If Theo would talk quietly when they were both just barely awake, or remain completely silent until he had something to eat. If he would try to hide any embarrassment, or even regret over actions from the night before, or tease Liam about it mercilessly until his cheeks are bright red. If they would get up right away, or laze around in the sheets. If his scent would be stronger. If his skin would be just as warm. If their touch would be just as mind-blowing as the thick blanket of sleep is just lifting from their brains.

There were a lot of things Liam had tried very hard not to envision. And honestly? It wouldn’t have mattered how many hours he'd let himself imagine the possibilities. Because nothing could've lived up to the real thing.

They don't drift apart in the middle of the night. Liam wakes up first, ungodly early, in almost exactly in the same position as they fell asleep; the only difference being that they might actually be closer. Theo is holding tight onto Liam's right hand that's still wrapped around his chest like it's the most precious thing in the world. His head is resting on his left arm that's now almost completely numb, but he's never been happier to feel those familiar pins and needles in his life. Liam's leg has slipped from around Theo's hip, but now their legs are entirely tangled in each other, making it totally indistinguishable to tell whose belongs to who, and it's almost better. The air is filled with both their scents mixed with the fading smells of sweat and sex; utterly distinct and helplessly irresistible, and Liam just wants to bathe in it. But seeing as he's well on his way to doing exactly that, hardly able to get much closer, he instead decides to bathe in the glow of Theo's body, because this is an urge he will not deny himself.

First, he unfortunately has to carefully extract his right hand from Theo’s grasp, almost feeling guilty at the way his eyebrows seem to furrow slightly at the loss, and shifts his weight back a bit to take a quick drink from a half-day old glass of water on his bedside table, letting the (albeit stale) liquid run down his rough, dry throat. He honestly expects the Chimera resting half on top of him to abruptly start awake at all the movement. But instead - even after he shifts back onto his side to his earlier position - Liam finds himself marveling at how paranoid, hypervigilant, restless Theo doesn't stir. His breathing doesn't change, his heartbeat doesn't falter, his eyes don't open. He just sleeps. And almost smiles. Like he’s peaceful.

The sight makes Liam’s heart swell overwhelmingly with care and protectiveness, and reminds him exactly what he was planning on doing since the very second he woke up: shamelessly losing himself in the intricacies of Theo’s body. Because now he can. Liam takes one finger and lightly ghosts across all the exposed skin he can easily touch; outlining the muscles rippling down his arm and back, circling the few freckles on his shoulders twice, brushing through the thin, light hairs - the whole time in utter wonder of the endless soft and smoothness. Maybe it's sentimental, and maybe he's going to get teased for it if Theo ever finds out what he's doing, but Liam wants to memorize every inch of him; every curve, every bruise, every mole, every swell and dip of his body. He wants to take a mental snapshot of them at this moment and never let the picture fade from memory.

In all Liam’s careful tracing and reverence, just as he gets the surveying finger under the blanket to the sharp angle of his hipbone, he hears Theo stir quietly; his heartbeat picking up subtly as he takes in a slow, deep breath, inhaling the smell of _them_ , muscles twitching against him as they too begin to awaken. 

"Sorry," Liam breathes into the skin just below his ear. He's really, really not.

"S'okay," Theo mumbles, still in between states of consciousness, and the way his voice is gravelly with sleep makes Liam's heart stutter. "What time is it?" he asks absentmindedly, eyes cracking open.

Liam moves only his eyes toward the clock, cheek resting against Theo's neck lazily, enjoying the way the intimate press feels. Then he realizes something with a smile. They don’t have anywhere to be. They don’t have anyone to answer to until his parents get home Monday morning. They don’t have an oppressive group threatening Beacon Hills. Right now, all they have to think about is each other. Time is irrelevant.

"Do you care?" Liam asks quietly, lips brushing gentle skin.

Theo's quiet for a second, no doubt working through the same process he just did, then breathes out a small laugh. "No," he whispers, trying to nuzzle deeper into Liam's arm, and for a second he wonders just how awake Theo is considering how overtly affectionate he’s being. But really, so is he, and it feels so perfectly special, Liam doesn’t let himself overanalyze. He just lets himself enjoy it.

Theo presses back into his body almost subconsciously as his eyes flutter shut, and Liam can't help but wrap his arm back to where it was originally around his chest. The Chimera makes a low noise of approval, grasping almost immediately with lazy fingers to hold on. The fact that this is reality is their breathtaking.

"You're not worried about world outside?" Liam teases gently, letting the warm breath tickle his skin. "You're not trying to analyze the situation or analyze me? You're not concerned about orientating yourself?" He raises his head to nibble softly on Theo ear for a second before his head feels too heavy and he rests it down in between his neck and shoulder. "You really don't care about the time?" he asks quietly with a smirk pressed into bare skin.

There's a silence that lasts just long enough to make Liam start to worry that he's reminded Theo of everything he should be doing instead of existing in this euphoric haze, but then his eyes open an infinitesimal amount, long lashes brushing his arm, and he's gripping on tighter.  

"No," Theo repeats in a whisper, voice awed under the thick layer of sleep "For once, I really, really don't."

Liam feels his heart burst with emotion and presses a gentle kiss to the dip of his neck, just below the ear. Because honestly, neither does he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, it feels good to be back <3 This is a pretty short chapter, and the rest of them will _definitely_ be a lot longer. For those of you who like seeing soft Thiam, get ready :) But the rest of you, never fear, we’re going to get some more snark and sass in here a little later on too. I just feel like these two deserve some intimacy after everything I put them through in What It Means to Stay Alive, so this is the result of that guilt! Also, the rating is currently T, but it’s sliding up to E for the next chapter. So there you go, for all of my fellow sinners who love Thiam smut infused with emotions/angst, just wait a little bit longer, okay? The title came to me after talking to the wonderful Tia in the comments of the previous story in this series and I realized it perfectly suited the fic I was already working on (this one). So thanks for that :)
> 
> I really hope you guys love this story as much as the last one, because knowing that I'm making you smile lights up my day. Thank you all so much for reading, and I'll hope to see you amazing humans down in the comments for some reunions <3


	2. The Echo of a Heartbeat

They both drift in and out of sleep for some indeterminate number of seconds or minutes or hours; and by the time they’re mostly conscious it’s definitely well into the morning. But neither of them care. At one point or another they shifted slightly so that Liam’s arm that was being used a pillow now has circulation again. Even so, he immediately used his so-called freedom to wrap his arms around Theo’s waist, and if the way the Chimera instantly held on and refused to let go was any indication, it was a move appreciated by both sides. Any lingering question of whether their touch would still be as extraordinary in the morning has vanished completely, and Liam’s whole body feels like it’s tingling wonderfully from head to toe. It’s honestly somewhat intoxicating. Supernaturals can’t get drunk - not really - but this is pretty damn close. Never did he think that with his attention span, he’d be able to lay quietly in bed mostly awake and unmoving for this long, never once getting bored or antsy. But when all it takes is the slip of a finger or a brush of a cheek against Theo’s skin to set off a reaction that feels like a small explosion in his brain, it’s frankly not possible to be anything but dazed. And yet, mostly they just breathe; feeling everything and being close and getting hypnotized by the sound of their hearts beating together in perfect sync.

There's none of the awkwardness Liam was trying not to worry about. It feels almost ridiculously natural, like giving into each other was an inescapable conclusion; helplessly inevitable and completely beyond their control to stop. He has no moment of second guessing, no quiet whisper of "maybe we should forget this happened", no toxic voice in his brain reminding him how horribly this could end. It just feels too flawless to question; the near silence that is somehow managing to avoid being suffocating, the way they can touch without instantly kicking themselves for it and wondering about the repercussions, the perfection of how they turn slightly for a kiss at almost the same moment without speaking a word, like their tolerance for conscious time together without their lips brushing is exactly the same.

They’re still them; their bickering and teasing and never-ending annoyance with each other is never going to change. But lying here, savouring each second of vulnerability wrapped up strangely in comfort - this can be them too. It’s just a side they’ve never shown before, maybe a side they didn’t know they were even capable of. Maybe it was the sex, and maybe it’s being alone together for the whole weekend; but somewhere, somehow, a silent temporary truce was called. And now that all the defenses and barbs and quips and anger have been peeled away, what’s left is truth and bare skin and soft touches and merging scents and Theo and Liam. It’s what he always imagined real serenity would be like. But even when he imagined it, never could he have guessed that _this_ is how the elusive state would finally be achieved.

 

“It’s so weird,” Theo murmurs, and Liam re-opens his eyes as his voice breaks through the stillness. The sun is streaming in through the partially opened window at the other end of the room, bringing just enough of a chilly breeze that they snuggle closer together under the blanket, the skin of Theo’s back pressing tightly against his chest and abs.

“What is?” Liam asks quietly, honouring the morning silence. Theo turns slowly in the circle of his arms to face him, one arm quickly gripping his back and pulling them together again like he can’t bare the thought of any space between them, and Liam wholeheartedly echoes that sentiment. Theo buries his face in the space between his neck and shoulder, apparently his new favourite spot to hide, and presses a wet kiss there, tongue darting out for a quick second and making him shiver slightly. He brings a hand to feel the soft skin of the Chimera’s neck, slowly raising it to brush his fingers through the short strands of hair. “What is?” he repeats, aware that if this goes much further they’re going to lose track of the conversation completely; and as tempting as that seems, now he’s curious.

Theo sighs, breath tickling the damp skin, and stretches back up to bring their foreheads together, eyes closed. He’s quiet for a minute, and Liam has to bite his impatient tongue not to press too much, knowing the words will come when they can. And they do.

“Sleeping without nightmares,” Theo finally confesses in a low tone. “After all this time it kind of feels wrong to not be constantly dreading the night. I’ve never been able to sleep peacefully for hours on end like this, or dream of anything that isn’t just suffering or death.” Opening his eyes to look deep into Liam’s, he adds unsteadily, like he’s fighting himself to reveal it, “And I’ve _never_ been able to close my eyes and feel safe. Not until this.” His eyes seem to scream what he couldn’t entirely say. _Not until you._

Liam feels his heart overflow with love and care and protectiveness; simultaneously hearing it break at how he’s the first glimpse of serenity or security the Chimera’s ever known. He didn’t know that combination of emotion was possible, but there it is. He slides the hand still buried in Theo’s hair down to trace the angle of his jaw, the other arm winding down and around so he can gently run his fingers up and down the small of his back soothingly. It’s still blowing his mind to be allowed to touch Theo like this, and he’s treasuring every stroke. Liam brings them together for a kiss, because he just has to, lips brushing together and pulling softly, again and again. He throws all his emotion into the kiss, not sure if he can ever verbally articulate what he truly means. Eventually they pull apart to breathe again, somehow already lightheaded. Even still, their eyes are drawn together like magnets.

And if Theo can find it in himself admit something that makes him feel completely exposed, then so can he. Because it’s about time it was said. “I _want_ to be what safe feels like for you,” Liam whispers, watching Theo’s face break beautifully in front of him at the words. “And I want to be your anchor. Because even when I’m trying to kick you in face or screaming that you’re an asshole, that’s what you are for me.”

Theo’s lips part in what almost looks like amazement, and he takes a shaky inhale. His eyes look overwhelmed, but wonderfully so, like he’s drowning in the still-vibrating air filled with long-known but never spoken words. The Chimera shakes his head in wonder and brings a hand up to cup his face, thumb brushing over his lower lip. “ _Liam_ ,” is all Theo can manage, voice cracking slightly, and then before he can even take another breath they’re kissing again and this time they are not taking it slow.

The ever-present desperation is craving resolution, and they sink in the second their lips connect. Liam grips Theo’s body tightly instinctually, slipping his tongue into his mouth in a quick flick, feeling everything inside. Theo caresses his mouth sinfully smoothly, making every nerve ending fire and sizzle distractingly. They meet again somewhere in the middle, battling; wet and hot and wonderfully perfect. Theo’s foot drags slowly, torturously, up the back of his bare leg to reach his inner thigh and Liam moans softly into the kiss before he can hold it in. Theo shivers, almost as if in response to the noise, and that plus some memories from the night before makes something click. Liam breaks apart, still not going much further away than a few centimetres.

“You like it when I make sounds.” It’s a question, yes, but really mostly a statement at this point. Theo’s already flushed cheeks turn a deeper shade of red, and Liam can’t help the grin developing on his face. That’s all the answer he needs, but he can’t help but push it a bit more. “Because normally you hate it when I make sounds. Like, anything that comes in the form of a word.” Theo’s glaring at him now, and it just spurs him on further. “Interesting. So it’s just the noises that don’t actually have a definitive meaning, then?”

And before Liam knows what happening, he’s lying on his back and Theo’s on top of him, holding him down with his mouth latched onto his nipple, sucking, tongue darting out to flick at the sensitive bud. Liam gasps, arching into the movement without thinking, bunching his hands in the blankets and whining slightly. The instant his involuntary sounds leak out, Theo’s off him again, and with one final shameless lick up the centre of his chest, the Chimera positions himself so he can look straight into his eyes. Liam tries to catch his breath and swallows, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Theo’s eyes are glittering in triumph, and the sight is simultaneously making him unreasonably happy and undeniably defensive. “ _What_ ,” Liam pants frustratedly, a single syllable effectively transmitting his confusion and irritation.

“Those sounds,” Theo begins in a low, liquid tone, almost feeding off Liam’s anger and turning it into something intoxicating, “ _have_ a definitive meaning. It means that I’ve _fucked_ you up _so_ much that you no longer have any control over what’s coming out of your mouth.” The words combined with the way Theo’s body is hovering overtop of him makes Liam’s heart start beating faster, and maybe Theo hears it because suddenly their faces are mere centimetres apart. “Do I make you lose control, Liam?” Theo breathes against his lips in a playful voice that seems to ooze suggestion. Liam keeps his lips shut, stubbornness ruling his brain, fighting the wave of arousal flowing through him like a wave. His eyes close because staring at Theo’s face is making it worse. He feels a finger brush over his already sensitive nipple, and he presses his head back against the pillow. It comes back for another swipe, and before long it’s a constant motion broken up by pulls and twists that almost make him break. Liam trembles, trying so hard not to let a noise escape, trying to keep it together. It’s getting to be impossible.

“Do it,” Theo murmurs in his ear, teasing, and the sound of his voice is almost an aphrodisiac. “Let it out.”

“ _Fuck_ you,” Liam gasps, hoping that words don’t count in this dangerous game they’re playing.

“Mmm,” Theo hums, and starts licking the skin on his neck, biting softly, hand still busy on his chest. Liam bites his tongue, tasting blood, shaking at the strain to not make another sound.

“You could fuck me if you want to,” Theo comments casually against his skin, and that’s just too much. Those words in that voice. No. No. No more quiet. Liam hears a sharp, high-pitched moan escape him as there’s another suck on his throat, eyes opening at the release. He feels Theo smile against his skin victoriously, and before he can kick him for it, the Chimera bites down hard and twists his raw nipple. Liam hears himself whimper helplessly, floodgates opened, and the sting mixes perfectly with the heat dancing inside him. He realizes at some point his hands moved from gripping the sheets to where they’re now digging into Theo’s back. His nails have sunk deep under the skin, and Liam feels zero remorse. Being silent while experiencing that was utter torture. He rips them out without warning and Theo hisses, pulling back to glare at him. Liam smirks up at him before taking the planned opportunity, wrapping his legs around his hips and quickly switching their positions, pinning Theo’s arms and legs easily, and sitting on top of his upper body.

“Were you serious?” Liam demands, voice still shaky, just like the rest of him. “About me-”

Theo’s silent underneath him, looking slightly uneasy for the first time since they started this whole thing. His eyes are clouded not with lust, but with anxiety, and his chest hasn’t moved since he was flipped. Liam immediately loosens his grip holding down his limbs, confused and hating he triggered this response. “You don’t have to,” Liam reassures quietly, trying to slow his racing heart so he can think properly and attempt to fix this.

Theo closes his eyes at the sound of his voice and finally takes a deep, ragged breath, the movement almost making Liam sigh in relief. He takes his hands from their position lightly around his wrists to slide their fingers together loosely, and small smile forms on Theo’s lips. Encouraged, Liam gently rubs his thumb across his palms in a sweeping motion, hoping to give him something calming to focus on. After a few minutes of racing thoughts filled with infinite explanations that never seem to fit, Theo’s eyes open again, blissed out and seeking Liam’s in a way that makes his chest warm. When Theo moves to try to sit up, Liam slides down from his chest to get off of him completely, but an arm wraps around his back to keep him in place on his lap. They sit like that for another minute; blankets half pushed aside, Liam’s arms now encircling his neck, Theo’s hand that’s not holding his back caressing the skin on his face with shockingly gentle fingers, looking peaceful. It’s like Liam’s skin has unlocked a level of calm the Chimera could never achieve on his own, and now he’s addicted. They both are.

“Did I do something wrong?” Liam can’t help but ask quietly, guilt and self-consciousness starting to creep in, and Theo’s face softens even further.

“No,” he murmurs, shaking his head slightly, tracing Liam’s now still lips with overwhelming care. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting that, even if I was the one to bring it up.” He abruptly drops his hand into their laps, and Liam immediately misses the constant sensation. “It’s just taking a minute to get my mind to understand… To let myself-” He sighs, frustrated, like he can’t put the words together the way he wants.

Liam absent-mindedly plays with the hair at the nape of his neck, trying to put himself in Theo’s position. “To let yourself be vulnerable,” he tries, and Theo’s eyebrows furrow together briefly as a look of impressed shock passes across his face. It’s enough to make Liam keep going. “To let yourself be in a position where someone can hurt you, or take advantage of you. Probably, most of all, knowing you, to let yourself give up control. But here’s the thing,” Liam scoots closer on his lap, trying to ignore the distracting rub of bare skin. “You’re still in control. It’s the same thing you told me last night: if you say stop, I stop. At any point. Even once-” he swallows, pushing out the words that make his head spin. “-once I’m in you, if you want me to get off, I will. If you don’t like it, we won’t do it. Simple as that. Yeah, I’m the one on top and you’re lying on your back, but we both have the same amount of control.”

Theo’s staring down at him with a wondrous expression on his face, and slowly shakes his head. Liam winces slightly, worried he overstepped. “Too much?” he asks mildly, and Theo breathes out a soft laugh, face unwinding, gripping the back of his head and swiftly pulling him forward into a tight embrace. Liam smiles into his shoulder, almost smirking when he hears a muttered “Never enough” into his neck, breathed out as if in a moment of weakness. After a minute filled with Liam pressing shamelessly affectionate scattered kisses into soft skin and Theo nipping his neck gently and soothing it with his tongue, he reluctantly pulls them apart, looking at the Chimera seriously.

“I wasn’t screwing around before. I’m not about to force you to do this just because you mentioned it. But last night, what you did to me…” Liam knows he won’t find the words to encompass that experience, so he doesn’t even try. He just draws an intentionally curving, wandering line down the middle of Theo’s chest and abdomen and stares into his ridiculously perfect hazel eyes, whispering, “I wanna make you feel like that.”

“I want that,” Theo says hoarsely, eyes flashing, and Liam believes him instantly. He seems to hesitate before forcing out, “But I just need to explain what exactly happened back there, alright? Where this is coming from.”

The corners of Liam’s mouth turn up slightly, and he can’t help but poke a little. “Theo Raeken volunteering to share personal information?” he teases lightly, “The hell happened to you?”

Theo narrows his eyes before hitting him sharply on his side. “ _You_ did, you obnoxious asshole,” he fires back, trying to sound menacing, but the genuine meaning of the reply and the fact that they’re sitting on top of each other naked sort of overpowers that. The Chimera’s eyes are slightly defensive, but Liam can see the vulnerable uncertainty that lurks behind them. That combined with the comment itself make his chest tighten with emotion. He knows better by now than to respond to any sort of honest, heartfelt confession with words (no matter how sarcastically they were delivered), so he leans up slightly and pulls their lips together passionately, pouring out everything he wants to say through that connection, knowing intuitively that Theo will understand all of it. Almost instantly he feels Theo’s hands on his back pulling him in even closer; a silent reassurance that he’s hearing and savouring every syllable of Liam’s wordless reply. After far too short a time, Theo pulls away, then comes back for one more quick kiss before settling back and sighing, eyes still closed like he’s trying to preserve the memory of Liam’s lips in his mind while he forces himself to think of darker things.

“This is going to sound really bad, alright?” Theo starts with a strained voice. “Don’t take it the wrong way. Just hear me out before you get disgusted and kick me out of your bed.” He finally opens his eyes again, and they’re slightly guarded. “It’s not like everyone doesn’t already know my mind is somewhat disturbed, but there are a lot of details I haven’t exactly broadcasted.”

An ominous beginning, and Liam’s slightly offended that Theo thinks he’d get kicked out of _their_ bed, but for the Chimera’s sake he simply nods in agreement, making both his hands relax in their laps, dropping them from around his neck in an attempt to give him some space to focus. Liam’s still sitting in his lap though, legs wound around his hips to provides what he hopes is grounding contact. Theo blows a stream of air through his nose, and after closing his eyes again for a brief moment, he begins.

“It reminds me of when I was in Hell. When Tara would…” he stutters, and Liam nods once steadily, silently telling him he doesn’t have to say the words. Relief briefly flashes in Theo’s eyes, and he audibly swallows around an almost visible lump in his throat and continues. “When Tara would do _that_ with my heart. Sometimes she’d sit on top of me suddenly like you did, or wait for me to fall back and lean over me, holding me down right before she-” He shakes his head once, violently, trying to dislodge a mental image.

“Do you want me to get off of you?” Liam asks cautiously, and Theo’s tense expression melts.

“No,” he murmurs, placing one hand on his outer thigh, the other still a warm pressure on his back; both holding him in position. “Because when I think of someone on top of me when I’m lying down, completely helpless, I don’t want to think of Hell, or Tara, or a bloody hospital floor, or my heart being ripped out of my chest, over and over and over.” Theo looks like he’s searching Liam’s eyes for something, like he’s finding the strength to push out what he has to say in their blue irises. And maybe it works, because suddenly whispers are flowing through his lips, the warm grip tightening. “I want to think of _you_. I want to think of _your_ face, and _your_ body, and _your_ endless sounds that you can’t stop yourself from making, and the way that we snap together like it’s who we were made for.” His hazel eyes shine with certainty and desire. “I want to think of _us_ ,” he finishes quietly, barely audible, looking away.

Liam feels like he might be dissolving into a puddle of emotions because the amount of the Chimera’s body and mind that he is willingly exposing to him is breathtaking. He feels fiercely protective, and the achingly honest words that seemed to spill uncontrollably out of Theo’s mouth are making his head spin. It’s like when Theo ventured into that part of his brain that holds the things he thinks but never speak of – good and evil - and started talking, he couldn’t make himself stop again. The fact that he feels safe enough to let Liam see these broken parts of himself makes him want to hold on and never let go.  Instead, he smoothly slides a hand up Theo’s chest to his collar bone, travelling lightly to his neck, rubbing his thumb gently over the delicate, sensitive skin over his pulse; the corners of Liam’s lips turning up at how he shivers at the simple touch. They lock eyes again, and that connection may never stop making his stomach swoop.

“We can do that,” Liam assures in a low tone, the desire that’s coming to a boil underneath his skin spilling out into his voice. Because if his task is to overwhelm Theo in pleasurable sensation so that all he can think about when he lays down is Liam on top of him bringing him over the edge to a point where it’s burned permanently into his memory - then really, that’s been the plan this whole time.

Theo silently nods, looking slightly embarrassed at how he so eloquently poured out his emotions; and that reaction to something so beautiful is just unacceptable. Liam pulls his body closer and kisses him deeply, nice and slow; sensuality dripping from their tongues and starting a rolling burn inside their blood. The heat and the pace is leaving him gasping, their hands exploring the smooth expanse of skin just begging to be touched. It's almost dirtier than the things they do when it's fast and messy - just taking their time and gradually turning each other to boneless sensation. Theo is straining into kiss underneath him, pushing for more, and Liam's not that far behind. They need to get flat, because that's where all the rest of the wonderfully unspeakable things can happen. They need to try again, hoping that they can do this together. They manage to part their lips from one another, evidently coming to the same daunting conclusion.

“Do you trust me?” Liam asks quietly, knowing that what he’s asking for isn’t easy.

Theo’s eyes are a thunderstorm; raging against the emotions and defences that are constantly trying to destroy any chance at peace. Liam reaches across to softly stroke the skin of his face, settling the lines of worry and tension with his fingertips. Theo breathes steadier at the touch, eyes closing gently, and Liam’s thumbs ghost over his eyelids, enraptured with how they flutter. When they open again, the hazel is calm and warm, immediately making his body flush happily.

“I trust you,” Theo whispers seriously, and the way his eyes seem to scream those same words over and over makes Liam’s heart want to burst.

“ _Theo_ ,” he releases brokenly, pulling them together, mouths sliding seamlessly; because after hearing that, he needs to be close. Theo grasps his body tightly, like he needs it just as much as Liam does, and that joint desperation makes something click perfectly. “I trust you,” Liam murmurs against his lips, over and over, in between gentle kisses; because he’s implied it before, but Theo has to know that it’s both of them, always both of them.

When they break the last kiss with a soft, wet noise, their foreheads stay pressed together, and they breathe as one. They both know what part come next. “Ready?” Liam asks on an exhale, and it only takes a single look to know that they are. That it’s time.

 

They lean down onto the bed slowly, inch by painstaking inch, going at Theo’s pace and not a second faster. Liam watches him closely for any sign of panic, but all he sees is an unshakeable adoration that makes his skin tingle. Theo looks deep into his eyes the entire way onto his back, like he’s memorizing them, delving deep inside and losing himself completely. When his head hits the pillow, his breathing might actually be steadier than Liam’s, who’s trying to control his ragged breaths from the intense eye contact and the enormity of what’s about to happen.

Liam keeps his arms planted on either side of Theo’s body, just above his shoulders. He sits on his pelvis, legs tucked in on either side, and tries not to crowd his space too much. He gives Theo time to wrap his head around his new position; the memory of an anxious, trapped face still present in Liam’s mind. But right now, the only emotions on the Chimera’s face are desire and peace. An almost tentative hand reaches up to run through the strands of his hair, and Liam lowers down slightly at the feel of it without thinking.

Instantly, the hand stops moving, nails digging deep into his scalp, and Theo’s eyes lock down, radiating defensive hesitation. Liam pushes down the inconvenient wave of arousal blooming at the sharp sensation on his head and exhales, keeping his heartbeat calm. He raises his left hand extraordinarily slowly and carefully tugs at Theo’s immobile wrist, guiding it down from where it’s seemingly frozen in place. Never breaking their steady gaze, Liam brings his arm into the space between them so he can press a warm, soothing kiss into his palm. He can be fairly certain his dead sister didn’t do that in Hell.

Theo’s protective shell melts away at the feel of his lips, eyes softening, body visibly relaxing again against the blanket, head sinking further into the pillow. “It’s you,” he breathes in relief, like a small part of him that was trapped in the Underworld just came back to the present.

Liam nods, threading their fingers together and placing them back onto the bed so he can shift his weight forward again properly. “It’s me,” he confirms with a whisper, lowering another inch because this distance is killing him, and Theo’s sparking brown eyes feel like the perfect destination. “I don’t want to kill you, and I don’t want to hurt you,” he says evenly in the same hushed tone, knowing the words are getting through. “I’m not going to steal your heart.”

Theo’s gaze is intense; any apprehension completely evaporated in the heat. The hand not currently enclosed in Liam’s comes up to stroke along the back of his neck, fingers sneaking up into hair. “Even so,” Theo whispers, voice bursting with emotion, “it’s yours.”

Then he’s sharply pulling Liam down so their lips and bodies connect, the space between them disappearing in one quick, glorious movement. The kiss is overwhelming; filled with trust and longing and vulnerability and something else that tastes like home. But somewhere in the back of Liam’s brain, something is buzzing. Something he has to correct, because the distinction matters. Something important enough to break this beautiful piece of heaven.

“Your heart,” he gasps the second their mouths separate, not wasting a second, their eyes finding each other effortlessly. “It’s not mine. I’m not taking it from you. I’m not her.” Theo’s face dims ever so slightly, like it’s a rejection, and Liam immediately shakes his head, frustrated at how his brain is too lost in the lust to make words come out properly. “It’s not _mine,”_ he tries again, one hand reaching down to caress his cheek and leaning in close, “It’s _ours_. It belongs to both of us.” Liam hesitates, before throwing caution in the wind and laying everything out bare, admitting in a whisper, “Just like my heart. It’s ours too.”

Theo makes a broken sound in the back of his throat and his eyes seem to catch fire. “ _Ours,_ ” he growls possessively, wrapping his legs around Liam’s hips, and then then their lips meet wetly and Liam doesn’t think he’ll ever find the strength to voluntarily separate them again. The growled “ours” is still reverberating in his eardrums, pulsing between them like a chant as they grab and push and pull, licking into each other’s mouths. Theo drags his nails down his back, stinging perfectly, and Liam whines into the kiss, making the Chimera shiver. And just like that, both of them are getting exactly what they want, a flawless cycle of pleasure that fits them both. The deeper the nails dig, the louder the sounds being ripped out from his throat get, and the more it seems to spur them both on. Theo wasn’t wrong with what he said earlier. It’s honestly like they were created just for each other. For this.

Eventually Liam has to painfully tear his lips away to find some oxygen, dropping his head onto Theo’s chest as he pants, listening to his heart race. It’s racing for _him_.

“Get back here,” Theo warns in a low voice, hands climbing up from his lower back inching toward his underarms, presumably to forcibly pull him up into place if necessary. Liam smiles at his urgency, pressing a wet kiss into the skin above his heartbeat because he’s just that ridiculous and just that far gone for this idea - this _reality_ \- of them. He scrambles back up to bring their foreheads together, ghosting his fingers along Theo’s sides teasingly the whole way and watching him squirm.

“Don’t you ever need to breathe?” Liam asks quietly, grinning smugly.

“Fuck breathing,” Theo growls menacingly, eyes flashing as if to say _I need this more_. Apparently losing his patience, he tilts his head to nip sharply at Liam’s lower lip and suck on it, one hand burying itself in his hair, the other sliding slowly from his right thigh up to rest above his hip. Liam shivers at the feel of teeth on his delicate flesh, shifting forward slightly to get closer, and Theo hisses, biting down hard as their erections brush against each other.

“Fuck breathing,” Liam agrees wildly with a gasp, and he can feel the vibrations of the Chimera’s rumbling chuckle throughout his whole body. “Where did the lube go?” he asks, frantically looking around the room.

“I don’t care,” Theo answers sharply, and Liam smirks at him.

“It would hurt,” he says pointedly. “A lot.”

Theo shakes his head, eyes slightly drifting away. “I want it to hurt,” he whispers, and Liam’s smirk falls away instantly, stomach dropping out from its proper place. He examines his face, finding none of the lust that he feels when nails brutally rip his skin, only a resigned acceptance. Theo _doesn’t_ want it; he just feels like he _has to_ want it, like he doesn’t have a choice. Like pain is an obligatory part of the process of lying on his back.

Well maybe it’s time to break the cycle.

Liam plants his forearms into the bed just above Theo’s shoulders and leans in close, making his eyes widen. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says firmly, voice shaking with barely-controlled anger that the Chimera has lived with this alone for so long. “Not like this. Not because you think that you have to for this to happen. Because it doesn’t. You’re not in Hell, and I’m not Tara. And I’m _not-_ ” he pauses to take a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly and centring his emotions, realizing that the anger in his tone might be misinterpreted. When he speaks again, it’s calmer, more even. “I’m not going to give another reason for those memories to come flooding back. Lying down like this doesn’t mean you have to be in pain. You don’t have to hurt unless _you_ want to.” Liam pauses once more, marvelling at how it’s no longer terrifying to softly remind him, “You’re in control.”

Theo seems somewhat in awe, stunned at Liam’s ability to read him so well and no doubt amazed that he would even try. His lips part slightly, and he looks up like he’s seeing something exquisitely rare, almost in disbelief that this is real. A hand reaches up, fingers tentatively touching Liam’s lips as if to confirm that’s he not dreaming. After tracing the delicate skin, trailing off path to map the angle of his cheekbone, Theo’s apparently satisfied he’s conscious because the hand drops down to his chest. “Okay,” he finally whispers hoarsely.

“Okay what?” Liam asks cautiously, but the hazel eyes are already telling him everything he needs to know.

“Don’t-” Theo starts, but stops abruptly as if his tongue has locked up, like he’s been trained by repetition not to ask for one of the most basic human privileges.

Liam runs a hand through his hair, fingers brushing the scalp gently. “Say the words,” he murmurs insistently, because it’s important, and Theo deserves to know what they sound like falling from his lips.

He’s quiet for a long time, the inner wrestle almost visible to the eye. Liam keeps stroking his hair in a constant motion, thumb occasionally brushing the skin of his forehead or temple, and he feels Theo lean into the touch, like it’s reminding him why he’s fighting this war.

When his lips open, although the sound that comes out is quiet, it’s significant enough to be a roar. “Don’t hurt me,” he whispers, eyes almost looking ashamed, and immediately Liam rewards him by pressing a kiss to his mouth, the hand in his hair lowering down to cup his jaw.

“Say it again,” he demands softly, breaking apart, and Theo sighs in frustration, shifting restlessly underneath him.

“Don’t hurt me,” he repeats, and the words sound a bit stronger, more sure. Less guilty. His eyes read of certainty, like his voice is just waiting to catch up with the rest of him.

Liam breathes, feeling his heart burst with pride, and lowers down again to kiss him soundly until they’re both panting for air but not willing to let go. “Are you going to tell me where you hid the lube now?” he asks breathlessly, and Theo’s lips twitch upward.

“It’s right next to you on the floor beside the bed,” he answers, sounding just as short of breath.

Liam dips over awkwardly, refusing to entirely get off of the Chimera, and retrieves it from the ground, half of the tube concealed by the edge of a blanket. “Thanks for putting it away,” he teases lightly.

Theo huffs. “We’ll see how put together you are when we’re done here,” he shoots back defensively, and Liam snorts quietly.

“We’ll see,” he echoes with amusement, the slight mocking in his tone making Theo glare, but then the look turns to a knowing confidence.

“You don’t know what it feels like,” he points out in a murmur, heat springing to life in his eyes at the memory. “You have no idea.”

Liam feels his blood turn to molten lava at those fiercely definitive words presented in that husky voice. He leans in close, and hears Theo’s breath hitch. “Neither do you,” he promises in a whisper, and brings their lips together for a tortuously short amount of time before kissing down, down, down. He stops to wrap his lips and teeth around one of Theo’s nipples and suck sharply, purely out of spite for their earlier incident, and revels at how he bucks his chest up into his mouth, a small moan leaking out. Even still, Liam doesn’t let himself linger there for too long before kissing a slow, wet path to the V of his hips. He hesitates for split second before holding them down and taking Theo’s dick into his mouth.

The response is immediate; a half-aborted involuntary thrust of the hips, a loud cry that is definitely his name, and hands that are digging deep into the blankets. Liam sinks down as low as he can manage, the intrusion feeling foreign but ridiculously hot, and slowly raises back up again, hearing a gasp. When he looks up, Theo’s staring at him with wide eyes, pupils blown, mouth hanging slightly open; completely speechless. Liam can’t help himself from grinning smugly, lowering back down immediately to take the head into his mouth, sucking lightly. He hears something hit the pillow and a deep grunt, and it just makes him motivated to sink down, taking him as deep as possible before it’s too much, hollowing his cheeks. He starts a pace, slow, but judging from the constant litany of creative swearing going on above him, still very effective. The second he experimentally adds his tongue into the mix, hands are buried in his hair.

“Liam,” Theo gasps desperately, “If you actually want to get to fucking me, then you really need to stop before-”

He naturally chooses this moment to run his tongue teasingly from base to tip, and the protest is cut off with a low noise. “Or don’t,” Theo moans brokenly, hips straining to stay in place.

And unfortunately that’s Liam’s cue to piss him off even further, raising his head to release Theo from his mouth, almost missing the taste and full feeling. He wipes the mess of saliva and precum from his mouth with the back of his hand, looking up to find Theo’s face reading of utter betrayal. Liam supresses a snort of laughter, albeit not very well, and before the Chimera can start yelling, he leans up to kiss him, wondering in a flash of heat if Theo can taste himself in his mouth and on his tongue.

 

The instant their lips part, Theo’s growling “ _now,_ Liam,” and really, he’s just not capable of denying that particular command. He grabs the lube and warms it up a bit before spreading it on a finger, pushing Theo’s legs apart to get proper access, kneeling between them.

“It feels different,” Liam warns him quietly. “Kinda weird at first, but it gets a _lot_ better.”

Theo nods, propping another pillow behind his head, and he looks like he’s trying to hide the nervousness creeping up, but Liam’s becoming almost intuitively aware of the subtle shift.

“Tell me what you need, okay?” he says gently, keeping steady eye contact and trying to transfer some of his certainty. “Faster, slower, more, less, different angle... Just-” Liam pauses mid-thought to softly run fingers along the inside of the Chimera’s thigh with his dry hand and get the words right. “Just tell me like I told you. This isn’t gonna work if you pull your strong silent act and I have to guess everything.”

Theo’s lips are turning upward at the corners slightly at the obvious concern in his voice. “I’ll tell you,” he murmurs in agreement, the slight anxiety fading from his expression, and that’s all Liam needs to hear.

With one warning squeeze on Theo’s thigh, he slowly presses a finger into his hole and the grip is staggering; the idea of the heated vice wrapped around his dick already making him dizzy. When his finger is all the way in, he looks up. Theo’s eyebrows are furrowed, but the previous unease written all over his face is thankfully absent.

“Okay?” Liam asks cautiously, and brown eyes immediately snap to his.

“Weird,” he admits, voice sounding slightly far away, and Liam quirks his lips to the side.

“Told you,” he comments quietly, dropping a kiss where leg meets body, lingering because the scent is so strong, so unfiltered. “Just wait,” Liam promises, with a knowing smile hidden in warm skin.

It doesn’t take long before he’s proven right. The first movements are met with virtually no reaction, but then something seems to hit the right spot at the right force and Theo inhales sharply, muscles tightening. Liam tries to supress another grin, pressing in again the exact same way, over and over until something nudges his leg. He looks up to see Theo breathing a little heavier, a silent question in his eyes. “More?” Liam asks softly, and the nod is almost immediate, filling up his heart with something powerful. By the time the second finger goes in and he finds the same rhythm, Theo’s visibly trying not to move into the thrusts, feet pressing forcefully into the mattress, hands clenched in the blankets. The view from this perspective is entirely mind-blowing; feeling and seeing a person fall apart because of his movements is making him slightly drunk.

“So I guess this is better?” he can’t stop himself from asking smugly, shifting forward slightly, full well knowing the answer. Theo growls dangerously in response, still forcing his pelvis into the mattress. “You know you’re s _upposed_ to be moving into it, right?” Liam teases gently, letting a smirk develop. “Let your body do its thing.”

“Yeah,” Theo bites out sarcastically, voice clipped and straining, hips trembling, head hard against the pillow. “It’s just that easy. Give up control to your body. Wonderful. Thanks, Liam.”

And that gets his attention pretty quickly, but not in a good way. Liam slows down his thrusts to a stop, slowly pulling out and quickly crawling up the Chimera’s body. He only has one hand that isn’t covered in slick lube, so he uses it cup Theo’s jaw, even as he looks up with a mixture of anger and distress covering his face.

“ _Why_ -”

Liam immediately swallows the protest in his mouth, kissing him deeply and pressing in close. He almost can taste the part of Theo that’s still resisting, feel how it wants to run away, hears how it screams that lying like this means death and giving up control means Hell. It’s a small, tiny portion of his entire being, but it’s there; one final defense buried deeper than most. But with every burning kiss, every squeeze of Theo’s hands on his hips, every muffled whine that Liam can’t stop, he feels the stubborn barrier that refuses to die quietly take a hit. He fights it with truth, with caressing touches, with shameless silent pleading to just let them have this - let _Theo_ have this; until the tense strain has almost completely left the Chimera’s body.

When he slowly pulls away a few inches and Theo’s eyes open again, the anger has vanished, now reading of desire with a hint of confusion. “You can,” Liam reminds him firmly, brushing their noses together once, and lists other things he’s certain of. “If you let yourself give up control you’re not going to hurt me, and you know I won’t let you get hurt either. It just means you get to feel everything. Right now you’re blocking out one the best parts of this whole thing, and I know you felt it last time.” Theo’s lips twitch upwards at the memory, and it makes his chest warm. Liam won’t say it out loud, but as their eyes lock together, they both remember.

Letting the other person connect with you on every possible level. Giving yourself over and allowing them to be more than just inside your body. Inviting them be a part of your mind, your soul, pulsing through your veins, flashing in between synapses and leaving a semi-permanent trace behind.

Theo’s chest is rising and falling quicker, eyes darkening at the thought, and it starts Liam’s heart beating a little faster because the words - spoken and silent - are getting through.

“ _Everything_ ,” Liam whispers, bringing their foreheads together, barely managing to keep the desperation out his voice, trying to convey the force of the inexplicable tsunami of pleasure that momentarily swept him away to another dimension. “C’mon. Feel everything.”

Theo’s hands travel from his hips up his back, a new determination flooding into his eyes while simultaneously craving reassurance. And that he can give.

Liam strokes a thumb over his soft cheekbone. "I got you," he murmurs against his lips, so quiet that even by supernatural standards it's practically inaudible, but if it was any louder the hushed promise might be too much.

Theo shakes once, nails digging in, eyes squeezing shut; and then, all at once, his hips are rolling up like the dam has broken and their erections are pressing together and Liam is moaning and Theo is gasping and the nails are breaking skin. Liam forces down when the broad hips come around for another grind, and he actually chokes at the pressure. If they’re not careful, this could end much faster than originally intended.

"Theo," he manages, "Please tell me this means that I can-"

"Yes," he rasps immediately, eyes closed and rotating their hips together again, like now he's given up control to let it happen, he can’t make himself stop.

Liam torturously breaks away from his place to kneel between Theo's legs, reapplying the lube and thrusting two fingers back in without warning. Immediately his hips buck up with a low groan, and _there's_ what they were missing before. Liam starts working back up to his former pace, tearing out the occasional desperate sound. He’s tempted to go looking for the Chimera’s prostate, but he won’t do anything potentially overwhelming in the wrong way until he knows it’s okay.

It’s not even a few more minutes until he hears Theo release a shaky but forceful “three”, and Liam bites down on his hand to ground himself from the wave of fire flowing through his body. He closes his eyes and breathes in and out slowly before pulling out and looking up.

“Three,” he whispers in agreement, because his vocal chords seem to have tightened up. The third finger goes in easier than expected, Theo exhaling heavily and digging into the blankets, but not telling him to stop. The slide puts up more resistance, and Liam puts a steadying hand on the top of his inner thigh, gradually resuming speed. When he looks up again, the Chimera’s face is utterly euphoric, lips parted slightly, and the unfiltered expression shreds Liam’s last ounce of doubt. “Theo?” he asks in a hushed voice, drowning in the sight of his slowly opening eyes, “I’m gonna move around a little, okay?” They both know what he’s asking.

After swallowing hard, Theo nods once, visibly trying to relax against the muscles straining in nervousness rather than pleasure, and Liam presses kisses up his leg, trying to help, because he gets it. Yes, hitting the prostate is utter nirvana, but it brings loss of control to a whole new level. The next time he pushes in, it’s at a slightly different angle, and Theo’s hips twitch involuntarily. He tries a few more with the same result, a few cut off noises slipping out above him. “You have to tell me,” Liam reminds him quietly, spreading his fingers, and Theo hisses at that motion.

“Up,” he gasps, tensing, “Up a bit from there.”

He presses up, crooking his fingers hard, and immediately Theo clenches down, letting out a sharp, wordless yell. Liam grins at the reaction, pulling out and shoving back in, hoping he’s aiming for the right spot, and Theo shivers, moaning openly, fingers clawing at the blanket like he’s going insane. Liam can’t bear to be so far away with the Chimera falling apart, so he crawls up as far as he can go while still getting the right angle, pressing their bodies together. Theo immediately grabs on, one hand burying into his hair, the other pressed in between his shoulder blades. With every thrust, Liam can feel the quakes coursing through him, the vibrations as the sounds leak out. It’s like he’s just found the pleasure conduit to his whole body. Liam experimentally slows the pace to press the fingers directly onto his prostate, massaging it, and Theo gasps, arching his back, eyes flying open and finding his own immediately. He looks like he’s going into overload, gripping onto Liam’s body like it’s the only thing that makes sense, but adoring every second.

“Liam,” he cries breathlessly, looking lost, “ _Liam-”_

“I know,” Liam whispers brokenly, because he does. He knows that helplessly perfect feeling like everything is the world is gone except the pleasure and the pressure and the rub and the explosion. It consumes everything. “I know,” he repeats softly, reaching up to stroke Theo’s cheek, and presses his fingers to the same spot again, watching the Chimera’s whole body instantly shudder. Liam works them in, over and over, caressing the same spot inside of him until Theo’s nails are tearing into the skin on his back and the air is filled with whining, unsteady breaths interspersed with the occasional deep moan on a particularly forceful thrust. And there’s that same feeling from last night dispersing throughout Liam’s body; that they’re a part of each other. It’s completely intoxicating. That being said, the wet, spasming grip around his fingers are making his imagination go absolutely insane, and the desperation is starting to come to a head.

“Theo,” he whispers, trying not to push if he’s not ready, “Are you-”

After a violent shiver, Theo manages to open his eyes and look down. “Past ready,” he replies, voice already rough from the unrestrained sounds.

“Thank fucking god,” Liam exhales, cutting off the Chimera’s quiet laugh at his overt urgency with a few brutally hard, perfectly-aimed thrusts.

He hates the moment of actually having to remove his fingers; the cold, open air combined with remembering the horrifying emptiness he felt last night making him immediately crawl up to kiss Theo, trying to soften the blow.

“Remember what I said, alright?” Liam whispers into his ear, “If the memories get too much, just tell me to stop and I promise I will.”

Theo presses a wet kiss into the side of his neck, fingers ghosting up his spine like sparklers. “I know,” he murmurs, lips brushing skin with every syllable. “But right now I'm telling you _not_ to stop.”

Liam involuntarily trembles at the words, mind racing as he crawls back down to cover his dick with lube, not having the patience to warm it up first. When he goes to get back on top after wiping his hands dry, he hesitates, not sure exactly how much space Theo’s going to need to stay in the present. Carefully he climbs on, keeping his body a fair distance away, but is greeted with furrowing eyebrows and knowing eyes.

 “Over me,” Theo demands in a whisper, grabbing at his wrists to bring his body forward, closer on top of him. In this position, hovering only a few inches apart, faces almost touching, Theo’s entire vision is filled with Liam. And apparently that’s exactly how he wants it.

He feels his chest flood with a warm vapour, because this is happening, and it’s happening _now_. He drops through the small gap to press their lips together, slowing everything down to take it all in. When they part, beautiful hazel eyes are shining back at him. “Okay?” he murmurs, lining himself up, heart beating faster in anticipation.

“Okay,” Theo returns quietly, slipping a hand into Liam’s hair, the other gripping his hip in preparation.

Slowly he presses in, and instantly he knows that he’s not going to get through this without losing his mind. The pressure and the tightness are already leaving him breathless, and it’s somehow too much but also not quite enough. Theo makes a broken noise below him, eyes widening and Liam presses their foreheads together because he needs to grounding contact.

“Move,” Theo rasps, nails digging into his hip, and it’s not like he could ever say no to that. Liam sinks in further, finally letting out a release of low noises that have been building up in his throat. When he’s all the way in, his muscles tense, begging to do it all over again; but he makes himself stay in place, sweeping a hand down Theo’s torso, feeling the skin and trying to focus on that.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he can’t help but let out, breath tickling the Chimera’s face.

“I know,” Theo whispers with dark eyes, fingers running through Liam’s hair. “Me too.”

He’s not sure exactly who initiated it, but suddenly they’re kissing again, tongues slipping against each other and making everything feel somehow even more explicit. When Liam sucks sharply, Theo’s ass clenches down involuntarily and he breaks apart to groan, because he is physically incapable of staying still another second.

“Go,” Theo urges, evidently also feeling the strain, and Liam immediately pulls out, legs shaking. He pushes back in, probably with more force than he should’ve, and they’re both gasping, holding on to each other, pulling close.

“Oh my god,” Liam whispers, and Theo laughs breathlessly, head falling back against the pillow.

“Yeah,” he manages, looking back up with a glint in his eye, “Is that all you got?”

Liam growls warningly, causing a knowing self-satisfied grin, and as of now, it’s his job to wipe that expression off Theo’s face.

It really doesn’t take long. By the time he’s on the fourth thrust, the Chimera’s lips have parted entirely, eyes fluttering shut against the pleasure, and Liam would be smirking, but he’s totally lost in the sensation of it all. Never in his life has he felt anything like this, the grip, the closeness, the connection, the heat – it’s all combining to the perfect mix of overwhelming perfection. It’s like last time they had sex, but also so very different. They’re still coming together to reduce each other to burning beings that know nothing except each other, but now Liam’s the one who gets to do this for Theo, gets to watch him fall apart underneath him because of his motions, his thrusts; gets to be the catalyst for the explosion. His pace is steady and strong, still maddeningly slow compared to what he knows he can do, not wanting to do too much too fast, but he’s not sure how much longer he can keep up this restraint.

Liam drops his head down a little, lips brushing the shell of Theo’s ear as he murmurs, “More?”

Theo answers by winding his legs around Liam’s hips, hands sliding to rest around his sides, head turning and eyes flashing promisingly. “All of it,” he whispers positively, tightening his legs as if to accent his statement.

Liam feels a fire rip through his body, and he quietly moans “ _Theo_ ” before he’s pushing in hard, picking up the pace, not holding back and it’s just _everything_. It’s the little things that are truly making him lose control; like how he can feel Theo’s toes involuntarily curling in pleasure, how he’s struggling to keep his eyes open against the tidal wave of sensation, and the way he can’t go more than a minute without uttering Liam’s name. He shifts slightly on his next thrust, trying to find that spot, aiming up, and Theo bites on his shoulder, realizing what he’s trying to do. The next one causes a tiny twitch through his whole body, the next eliciting a quiet whine, and the next- he knows he’s hit it immediately. The scream is a short burst, and it feels like a bolt of lightning to Liam’s soul.

“There,” Theo gasps, grabbing tight, “There. Right there.” Liam hits that same spot again, blood charged, and Theo’s head falls back with a loud groan. He keeps pushing that spot, lost completely in the way every part of the Chimera’s body is holding him, surrounding him, pulling him in and keeping him close. But then Theo’s pressing a hand up to the centre of his chest, like he’s trying to push him away.

The memories. The memories must be back.

Trying to ignore the screaming of his body to keep going, keep moving, never stop, Liam forces his brain to think, finding the priorities, and shifts up to get off because he _promised_. But Theo’s other arm wraps around his lower back quickly, forcing him back down. Liam looks into his eyes, confused as to what to do. The hand on his chest slides to rest overtop his heart, fingers curling inward slightly, and it skips a beat in realization.

“Ours,” Theo whispers, voice hoarse, glazed eyes managing to stay lucid for a few short seconds amid the overwhelming pleasure, and something inside Liam explodes. He pushes in deeper, resuming the dizzying pace, brushing against his prostate every time. Theo moans at the force, head falling back, exposing his throat. The strokes are becoming more desperate, less even, and Liam’s muscles burn beautifully at the strain. The helplessly involuntary noises that are falling out of them both blend with the echoes of their bodies slamming together, and it’s all so explicitly intimate. He isn’t going to last long like this, and from the look and sound of it, neither is Theo.

Hesitantly, Liam slowly places a palm on the Chimera’s chest, right above his heart, almost holding his breath to see if it triggers something and ready to stop everything if he needs to, praying he won’t. “Theo,” Liam breathes, desperately needing to see his eyes. When they open, the wide pupils have almost taken over entirely, but even the thin ring of hazel is even more beautiful than he remembered. He presses down on his chest, feeling each heartbeat as a vibration.

“Ours,” Liam echoes in a warm murmur, pressing their foreheads together almost painfully, never stopping their brutal rhythm, and Theo sobs, arm tightening around his back, silently begging him not to stop, and Liam wouldn’t dream of it. “Ours,” he whispers again, because it’s the only thing that makes sense with his brain on the precipice of overloading; and that hushed promise breathed into the Chimera’s lips is all it takes to push him over the edge. Theo cries out wordlessly, ass clenching down, nails digging in, legs winding tighter, hand pressed unwaveringly to his heart; and comes in between them with eyes squeezing shut in ecstasy. Liam falls right after him, moaning and swearing and gasping for air and holding on and pushing in until they’re both shaking with it; beyond everything except each other. His mind shuts down to everything except the pleasure screaming through his veins and the body wrapped around his and the heartbeat pulsing and racing against his fingertips. Nothing else matters. Nothing except this. Nothing except Theo.

 

Liam doesn’t completely black out this time, but the haze is thick and heavy around them, and spots are dancing in his vision. He manages to pull out before his body collapses entirely on top of Theo’s, head falling to the mattress right above his shoulder. Liam feels a face press into the space between his neck and shoulder, nuzzling in, and the skin is slightly wet, setting off alarm bells. Somewhere he finds the strength to shift back up, muscles crying out in protest, to hover closely over Theo. His eyes are glistening, and a few rogue tears have spilled over onto his cheeks, but he’s glowing with a radiance that is nothing short of magnificent. Gently, Liam swipes the wet trails away with his thumbs, basking in the afterglow and appreciation of just how much he’s allowed to see of the Chimera below him. His body seems to strain upward and Liam takes the hint, softly connecting their lips in a tender and vulnerable kiss that’s absolutely perfect.

“You okay?” he asks softly; because the tears are probably from a combination of the overload of raw emotions, giving up complete control, and exhausting overstimulation, but he has to be sure. A tiny part of him is terrified that he hurt him, that he went too far.

Theo chokes wetly, and hands come up to spread along Liam’s chest and neck, smoothing along his face, tracing his jaw, feeling the damp hair by his temples, nails gently scraping his scalp. Every touch feels like a glorious stroke of fire. Theo’s eyes are shining with an intensity so strong that the hazel glistens. “Okay?” he echoes in a whisper, like the existence of the word is a disgrace. He shakes his head slowly, eyes searching his and visibly adoring everything he finds. “ _Liam_ …” Theo breathes with a reverence reserved for the most sacred features of creation. His lips open and close, throat straining, at a loss for words, and eventually gives up on speech, pulling Liam close.

They stay like that for a long time - just holding each other, still a complete mess, wet and sticky and broken; and they put each other back together again, piece by piece.

Eventually Liam forces himself to get up and retrieve a warm, wet towel from the bathroom to clean them both off; even the gentlest strokes making them both shiver. The blankets mercifully don’t need to be changed, and he sinks back under the fleece to wrap around Theo, facing him, the time apart feeling like an eon. They lay on their sides, never once breaking their unshakable gaze, and let their even breaths sync together without thinking.

Liam feels an overwhelming urge to reach across the small space between them and press his hand over Theo’s heart again, utterly hypnotized by the feel of the vital pulse, but can’t bring himself to break the cozy hold they already have. So instead he listens, body tingling at how every beat seems to murmur his name. And yet, he knows with an almost impossible certainty that if Theo listened closely, he’d hear his own name whispered in a steady rhythm emanating from Liam’s chest as well.

The daylight is still streaming in through the window, cool breeze disappeared, and the sun slowly warms the room. Everything smells like sex again, and he’s already getting lost to that scent on Theo’s body - on both their bodies - and effusing through the air.

Their eyelids are both threatening to shut, but a large part of Liam doesn’t want them to, the atmosphere and the view in front of him too exceptional to miss. Realistically he knows the struggle will be lost, and before their resistance is overpowered, he has to ask one thing.

“Theo?” he speaks into the silence, hushed tone already gravelly, and the Chimera makes a visible effort to keep his eyes focused. “It worked, right? The memories are gone? Or at least controlled?”

“That’s not the only reason I did it,” Theo answers quietly, voice already thick with exhaustion, and it’s remarkable how sex and sleep seem to loosen his tongue. “I wanted know what it was like to have you be a part of me like that.” With great effort he raises a hand from where it was wrapped around his waist to caress Liam’s cheek, causing tiny sparks. “I never could have known…” he murmurs, already drifting, sentence trailing off and fingers slipping from his face as Theo’s eyes close.

Even as the words settle some faraway worry, Liam gently nudges him awake, feeling slightly guilty, and Theo’s eyes fly open again. “But does lying on your back still remind you of Hell?” he presses softly, “Did it help?

Somehow the Chimera can still manage to conjure a glint in his eyes as he whispers, “Lie on top of me again and let’s find out.”

Liam’s heartbeat stutters at the suggestion and Theo lips turn toward a smug smile as he hears it. Muscles he didn’t know he had are still aching steadily, imploring him to stay put, but the offer is just too tempting, too important to ignore. Slowly, painstakingly, he shifts his weight over, one leg swinging over Theo’s hips, and a gentle hand on his shoulder guiding him onto his back. Liam lets his full weight fall on top of his body (not that he has the strength to do anything else) releasing a small noise of relief as he rests their foreheads against each other. Lying like this, he can feel Theo’s heartbeat against his own, a perfect echo.

“Any bad memories?” Liam whispers, looking into his eyes and feeling more at peace than he can ever remember being.

Theo’s hands slide up the bed to find his own, lacing their fingers together. “No,” he answers in a murmur with a hint of awe, thumbs sliding across Liam’s palms in a perfect mirror of how he was saved from drowning almost an hour ago. “I just see you.” A tiny smile forms, and it looks like freedom. “I just see us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this update took far longer than expected. Life has _seriously_ been kicking my ass lately, so I apologize. Hopefully the length makes up for it? But, as far as the chapter goes... I heard you guys like vulnerable Theo?? Because I adore vulnerable Theo. I love watching him, I adore writing him, and I will go on and on talking about him with anyone who will put up with me. Sooo, this kinda happened. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit nervous because I've never posted them so openly raw like this. But a lot of you were (understandably) wanting Theo to admit more to Liam in WIMtSA, so hopefully this ticks some of those boxes too? Also, the last two chapters are going to be Theo’s perspective, so for those of you who love being inside his mind, you’re about to get lots of it :) 
> 
> I have to thank every one of you who have commented on the last chapter, because you are bringing me life right now, seriously. The smiles I get from reading your responses are indescribably amazing, and I will never stop thanking you for them. All I can ask is to please, please bear with me if my replies are slow (I'm _still_ catching up *smacks self in face*). Hopefully real life stuff will calm down and I can get back to my normal pace of uploading/replying. With that said, many hugs to all you wonderful humans, and I really hope you enjoyed  <3


	3. (I Don't Think) We Can Stay Like This Forever

An embarrassingly large part of Theo’s brain is viscerally angry watching Liam get dressed on Sunday morning.

They had spent the entirety of Saturday completely or almost completely naked, only putting on their underwear to get some food some time after noon. Liam was content to grab whatever he could find from the pantry and escape back upstairs, but neither of them had eaten a decent meal for almost 20 hours, so Theo insisted on cooking. After they ate, everything came off again and he ran his hands up and down Liam’s hips under the blankets, savouring the way no frustrating material obstructed the smooth slide. Considering that day they did virtually nothing except hang around Liam’s house, mostly in bed, rarely separating more than a couple of feet apart like it was a rule; it probably makes sense that today they both woke up unreasonably early. And after Liam’s loudly rumbling stomach gave few other options, they actually decided to get out of bed like normal people. But then the beta had reached for his jeans.

It’s entirely irrational, the bitter fury Theo’s directing towards inanimate objects that are essential to society’s function. But he’s already gotten used to seeing the smooth expanse of the werewolf’s skin, and watching it get covered up piece by irritating piece - when he knows what’s hiding underneath - is utterly aggravating. Thanks to the shower they took together at some point late last night (which was unexpectedly enjoyable) Liam’s already clean, so he finishes getting ready pretty quickly. He throws his deodorant onto a chair and turns to stare expectantly at Theo where he’s still sitting on the edge of the bed glowering at the whole situation.

“Are you planning on spending the rest of your life without clothing?” Liam asks sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

Theo bristles, tempted to say that if they value his sanity then maybe _Liam_ should consider it, but instead bites his tongue and pushes himself up to where his bag is sitting across the room on the desk.

Before their shower last night, Theo realized too late that he hadn’t brought any of his stuff in when he first arrived at Liam’s house; stuff like shampoo. He’d been using the beta’s mouthwash, but sharing something like shampoo that has a scent he associates strictly with Liam – that’s not an option. Naturally, since Theo was already half under the water when the thought occurred to him, the beta had offered to grab it. He hesitantly handed over his keys (which shouldn’t have been such a big thing, but it really was) and Liam had been gone just long enough for him to get worried. But then finally he appeared with a familiar pre-packed duffel bag, holding a shampoo bottle, mocking the choice in hair products, and Theo had pulled him under the spray – pyjama pants and all. Sufficed to say, their minds turned ridiculously quickly to very different things. In those 50 or so minutes, they had gotten clean once, did some entirely unplanned but absolutely unforgettable and unapologetic things, and then had to actually get clean for a second time with smug expressions and satisfyingly sore muscles.

So thanks to that event, Theo now has his own clothes to wear. And he hates their existence and ability to cover up skin too, although granted, not nearly as intensely. As he reluctantly gets dressed, Liam disappears downstairs to find some food, and Theo is treated to sounds that are probably so natural to most people that they don’t even notice them anymore. But to him they’re wonderfully foreign: the fridge door opening and closing, Liam muttering to himself about something trivial, the tap running for awhile so the water’s nice and cold, footsteps on the hardwood that are slightly muffled by socked feet, pantry doors creaking open and falling shut, and the radio flicking on and then quickly off again, like the external noise is unacceptable. The only sounds Theo is used to hearing when he wakes up are harsh shouts to move along, someone tapping on the glass of his window, the blowing horn of a transport truck, and maybe, on an extremely quiet day, the chirping of a bird. He much prefers this version of mornings.

When he gets downstairs - the confining feel of jeans and a long sleeve top still irritating - Liam’s standing at the side of the kitchen island closest to him, hunched over slightly with his chin resting on his hands. Theo comes up quietly and flicks him harmlessly on the back of the head, but he jumps a good foot in the air. He gives the werewolf a sideways glance as he comes around to the other side of the island to help himself to glass of water from the sink, silently questioning, but Liam doesn’t say anything, simply going back to the bowl of cereal in front of him. Theo grabs a blueberry muffin and leans against the counter, trying to get a read on his face, but it’s virtually impossible with his head tilted down and eating. Mostly writing the reaction off on a too early morning, he goes back to his own breakfast, sitting on the counter and enjoying how for once his mind actually seems content to just aimlessly drift.

In the time that it takes Theo to finish his first muffin and get up to retrieve a second (because why not, for once he doesn’t have to pay for it), Liam’s been unnaturally quiet; and not the soft, serene kind of quiet he gets when they’re lazing around in bed. No, this is more of the slightly strained ‘I’m-trying-really-hard-not-to-say-something-or-look-preoccupied’ kind of quiet. When he wanders over to a barstool and pulls down the beta’s sweater to throw it at him, expecting it to be caught automatically, but instead hits him square in the face, Theo sighs. Liam quickly scrambles to grab it down from where the fabric has wrapped around his head, having the decency to look vaguely sheepish, rubbing at an angry red line on his cheek where the zipper whipped across the skin.

Theo crosses his arms and leans against the kitchen counter, looking at him meaningfully, trying to stop the laughter bubbling up in his throat at his current total lack of coordination or reflexes. He refuses to speak, knowing the combination of silence and steady eye contact will make Liam squirm enough that words will start spilling out of his mouth whether he likes it or not. And, of course, they do.

“Okay, so I’m a little distracted,” he shoots across the room defensively.

Theo raises a single eyebrow, lips twitching dangerously, biting his tongue to keep from retorting. Even without the words, the werewolf glares at him.

“Or maybe more than a little distracted,” Liam concedes, although his pissed off expression suggests he’s less than happy about admitting it.

“Are you having second thoughts?” Theo asks quietly, keeping his chin up and face neutral, already fairly certain of the answer, but knowing that response will keep him talking.

Liam looks vaguely horrified at the suggestion, quickly maneuvering around the island so he can sit on top of it right in front of Theo, bodies fairly close together. The beta reaches across the empty space to pull on his upper arms and bring them together. Almost automatically, Theo uncrosses his arms, wrapping them loosely around his waist and stepping in between his legs. Positioned like this, Liam’s actually slightly taller than him, the kitchen island giving him those extra few inches. The gaze that meets him is insistent, and gentle hands rest above his hips.

“No second thoughts,” Liam says firmly. “No regrets, no doubts, no urge to run in opposite direction. Not even when you tried to blind me with my own sweater. That should tell you something.”

Theo feels a smile want to develop, so he lets it. He doesn’t know what answer he was expecting when he asked the question, but this level of seriousness and a desperately imploring tone wasn’t it. Even still, the genuine answer settles the few stubbornly remaining shreds of apprehension in the back of his mind.  “What it tells me,” he responds amusedly, trying to them get back on track, “is that something else is bothering you so much that even your instinctual werewolf abilities of speed and dexterity have evaporated completely.”

Liam sighs heavily again, looking vaguely pained, and Theo looks at him expectantly, a hint of caution flashing in his eyes. He really has no idea where this could be going, and he’s trying extremely hard not to hypothesize.

“Do you ever think…” Liam starts quietly, and then trails off, looking away.

Theo huffs impatiently, the endless possibilities starting a chaotic buzz in his brain and gradually driving him insane. “I think very often,” he forces out in a low, sarcastic voice, “However, I’m beginning to doubt that the same can be said for you.”

The remark, somewhat unsurprisingly, earns him an irritated glare and slightly elongated nails popping through the fabric of his shirt, piercing the skin above his jeans.

“I only have so many shirts, Liam,” he warns, eyes dancing at the unsubtle reaction, not flinching at the sharp pinpricks on his sides.

“Welcome to my life,” Liam growls, but the words lack sincere anger, and he removes his nails carefully, not tearing the material past the tiny puncture holes.

For some reason, the fact that Theo hasn’t moved his arms from being wrapped protectively around Liam’s waist even as he was trying to bury painfully into his skin suddenly seems utterly hilarious and so very _them_. Even when they want to kill each other, they need to be close. Keeping the embrace was completely natural, like his body decided that potential bloody wounds wasn’t a good enough reason to give up the contact; regardless if the werewolf looked slightly murderous. Now, Liam looks justifiably confused at Theo's increasingly amused expression, apparently not experiencing the same realization. And for some reason, the way his eyebrows are scrunching together and lips are parting, completely oblivious, makes Theo want to kiss him, so he does. Because he can.

Despite his initial look of complete bewilderment, Liam’s lips move perfectly in time with his, not missing a beat. He scoots forward on the island so they can get closer, bodies pressing perfectly in all the right places, and Theo smiles into the kiss at the way his heart always seems to falter the second the space between them disappears completely. This angle is different from usual, the beta coming at him from above, and it’s messing wonderfully with his brain. Liam’s wandering hands have traveled up to rest warmly on his back and hold them together, one thumb absentmindedly stroking along a long muscle. Theo lets one of his hands reach the neck of his t-shirt, feeling the bare skin with ghosting fingers and eliciting a shiver. Liam opens his lips slightly, a silent invitation, and Theo gratefully slips smoothly inside the beta’s mouth, brushing their tongues together, gripping onto his waist even tighter. And once again, they’re falling into this way too fast.

 

Liam’s phone vibrates suddenly on the counter, the noise making them both jump apart in mild shock. Theo steps away, trying to re-sort his mind, reaching behind him mechanically to unplug the buzzing device and pass it back. Liam groans frustratedly before he even sees who’s calling.

“Ignore it,” he says firmly, reaching with his legs impatiently, trying to wrap around Theo’s hips.

He smirks, taking another step away, just out of reach, trying to cover that the same tempting thought is floating through his brain as well. He glances quickly at the caller and his face falls.

_Incoming: (Scott McCall)_

Silently, Theo holds up the screen to Liam, who swears loudly, quickly grabbing the phone and swiping to accept before it goes to voicemail.

“Hey,” he starts, swiftly clearing his throat when his voice cracks on the first word. Theo snorts, earning another glare.

“Yeah, no,” Liam says quickly, avoiding eye contact. “No, I know it’s early, but I’ve been up for awhile actually, it’s fine.” He bites on a fingernail, crossing his legs on top of the island, listening carefully. Theo can’t really make out what’s being said, so he pushes away from the counter, grabbing his mostly finished muffin and moving into the living room to sit on the arm of the couch.

Between the phone call and the clothes, reality is starting to seep back in and he hates it. It’s so much simpler to imagine that it’s just him and Liam alone in the world. Staying in this house, sleeping in a warm bed, waking up to silence broken only by steady breathing and the occasional quiet, near unintelligible mumble that's sometimes his name - it almost feels like he’s losing himself in an existence that’s surreal; previously unattainable and magically secure. The outside world doesn’t exist; not when every second Theo takes a breath he can delve into a realm filled with sarcastic quips and eyes that are crystal blue oceans and soft skin he’s allowed to touch and random history facts that he would never actually admit listening to. Except, of course, that the outside world _does_ exist. They just haven’t been looking at it.

This is the first time either of them have talked to anyone besides each other since the night of the meeting with Marner and Yasmin. Theo hasn’t bothered touching his phone since he destroyed his SIM card, and Liam looked at his for about two seconds yesterday to make sure no one needed him before setting it on the counter to charge, quickly opting to return to bed and continue his apparent goal of completely mapping Theo’s body with his fingertips. He didn’t ask if the phone was placed on a different floor so Liam wouldn’t hear it even if it did go off, mostly because the answer was fairly obvious. For a little under two full days, it’s been them - just them - and they’ve only almost killed each other twice. Both times were typical bantering arguments that turned inevitably violent (but only mildly), but they certainly made it up to each other afterwards. It was idiotic to think something or someone wouldn’t eventually come along to shatter their peaceful existence, but being around Liam for this long almost makes the paranoid, pessimistic parts of his brain shut off, or at least dim down to a dull roar. It’s somewhat disconcerting, honestly, to have those toxic voices that always seem to lurk in the background hushed to a controllable level. He could get used to it.

Liam’s still discussing things with Scott as Theo finishes his second muffin. There’s a lot to get caught up on. A lot of decisions that were made on the Alpha’s behalf; a lot regarding Theo. He tries to push his mind away from that, not exactly eager to examine the many things that are now entirely out of his control with no hope of meddling in. Gripping the wrapper tight inside a fist, he pushes away from the couch, migrating slowly back upstairs, tossing the garbage into a small bin hidden between two chairs, shaking his head that he knew precisely where to look. This isn’t his house. He doesn’t even _have_ a house. So why does climbing these stairs feel so warmly familiar?

Theo wanders the second level, pausing outside the bathroom, eyes catching on his shampoo still sitting on the shelf in the shower. They weren’t exactly focused on organization when they stepped out of the steaming room; and for Theo, that’s saying something. It’s a minor slip, not keeping all of his possessions stacked in one place, but it’s significant. His defenses – even his subconscious ones – are lowering down further than he realized. A low buzz he’s become far too accustomed to over the years resumes in his ears, and he closes his eyes, holding onto the doorframe, trying to will it away. After a frustrating minute he snaps forward, grabbing the bottle from the shower and turning sharply to the bedroom, stuffing it back into his bag in the proper place, zipping the compartment shut. The buzz fades, like a sick reward for good behaviour, and he exhales slowly.

This room conjures the most memories, the most emotions; and almost every single one is completely exceptional. The few terrifying and raw moments were all followed quickly with soothing or pleasure or both, leaving nothing but a beautiful taste remaining in his mouth. The blankets on the bed are wrinkled and pulled away in some places, and Theo pulls at the corners so it lays out perfectly. More order. More things he can control.

Even still, he’s never been skilled at shutting up his mind when he’s alone, and the thoughts start to seep in like a virus, trying to infect his small sphere of paradise. He sits down on the edge of the mattress, effectively ruining his attempt at flawless order. It’s rather fitting, all things considered; since the dangerous and necessary ideas floating through his head will inevitably cause his own destruction. He and Liam have been unintentionally rewriting his idea of normal, of order; and it’s entirely different from what he knows, but it’s better. It’s so much better. And it makes it that much harder to realize that it’s not realistic.

It hits him physically like a weighted punch to the gut or swallowing a toxin, making him instinctually want to heave, expel the poison – except the poison is the truth. Theo can’t live here. They’re not going to be alone forever. They won’t be able to wake up and immediately find a warm body half on top of them every morning. Showers will be alone. Sleeping will resume its erratic and traumatizing status. Whether they like it or not, Liam’s parents are coming home - soon - and he will have to leave. This life isn’t sustainable. Not right now.

Yes, today they have kisses and snarky comments and lingering touches and mindless hours of lazy closeness that leaves his mind hazily drifting into an intoxicating fog. But tomorrow… Tomorrow is Monday. Liam has to go to school. Theo has to go back to hiding out, driving his truck, finding odd jobs that keep him occupied. Life outside this house goes on.

The reminders are making his head spin, those newly dormant voices reawakening to try and shift back his perception of living, of what has to be done. He hunches over, forehead resting on his hands that are clasped in fists, trying and failing to slow everything back down. The clothes just felt so final, as if it was the only thing really separating them from going back to being normal. Almost like a subtle signal: it’s time to go now before you can’t anymore.

Theo’s legs seem to move without his consent, bringing him to the window so he can see out to the driveway where his truck is parked. A lump forms in his throat as a voice hisses, _This. This is your home. This is where you belong. This is safety._ He shuts his eyes. Maybe he doesn’t want that kind of safety anymore.

There’s a roar so loud and definitive that his eyes fly open, looking around for the danger, only to realize it’s inside his head. _You can’t stay here,_ something snarls, _Not for the rest of eternity. Stop getting used to something you can’t have._

That hits far too close to a soft spot, and he swallows hard, turning around from the window, finding himself a step away from his duffel bag on the desk. Stop getting used to something you can’t have. He can’t have this. Liam can’t have this. They can have each other, but not in this way. Not all the time. The fact of how heart wrenching leaving feels even now seems to echo the idea: it’s time to go.

Before he can be physically sick at the fully formed concept, Theo zips all the compartments on his bag shut, grabbing a shirt and some underwear from the floor and shoving them in unceremoniously beforehand. He scans the room for anything he’s forgetting, carefully keeping his mind zoned in on looking for his possessions and not being caught up in memories. Finding nothing, he picks the bag up, and it feels heavier than it did before, weighed down with implications. The first step feels like he’s walking through water, and the second one is worse. As he walks through the threshold into the hallway, he’s choking soundlessly, drowning in the ocean seemingly forcing him back. But he keeps moving.

He remembers the look on Liam’s face when he thought Theo was leaving for good that first night, and instantly the guilt starts pouring in heavily, suffocating. But he’s not leaving for good. It’s just for now. Liam knows by now that Theo’s not capable of walking away from him, not permanently. But the plan was never for him to live here, and that’s not something he wants to entertain either; not when there are parents to deal with. So sooner or later, this was going to happen, it _had to_ happen. He’s just making things move a little faster than necessary. Ripping off the band-aid.

By the time Theo gets to the front hall, the confliction is beginning to eat him alive. His brain is telling him to walk out the door, but his heart is screaming for him to never leave. His lungs seem to be caught in the middle, tightening in protest and indecision. He swallows hard, one more time. This is what needs to be done. His bag falls to the ground much louder than his normal stealth mode dictates, like small rebellion. _Good_ , a tiny voice in the back of his mind thinks. Maybe he wants Liam to hear. Maybe he wants to be stopped.

Almost on cue, as he picks up his sneakers, he hears a sharp “hold on” interjecting Liam’s phone conversation in the kitchen, and a scrambling as he jumps off the island. Theo pauses in the small foyer, listening to the footsteps get rapidly closer. Liam bursts into the doorway, hands braced on either side of the frame, still carrying the phone and sounding slightly breathless, even though the rooms are a fairly short distance apart. The look on his face instantly cracks Theo’s heart painfully; the minor panic and aching desperation almost pleading with him.

“Don’t,” is all Liam whispers, “Not yet.”

Theo looks away, trying to push down the urge to drop his shoes immediately and hold him. “We can’t hide in here forever,” he points out quietly. _No matter how much we want to_ , he doesn’t say out loud. But they both know it’s there.

Liam nods, dropping his head a little in defeat, then raising it again a second later, raw emotion in his eyes. “I know,” he admits, lowering his arms and taking a step forward. “Just, not now. We didn’t finish… talking.”

Theo’s lips twitch upward. “Talking?” he repeats skeptically, amusement lacing his tone. Liam’s cheeks flush slightly, gaze dropping self-consciously, and it only makes his smirk grow wider.

“Yeah, talking,” the beta mumbles, taking another step closer so there’s only a foot of space between them. “Or finished breakfast, or finished video games, or finished…” he looks up again, still blushing, “y’know, whatever.”

Theo sighs softly, mind still torn between forcing the temporary separation before they get anymore incapable of tolerating the outside world, or diving headfirst back into their beautiful sanctuary. “Liam,” he says gently, trying not make it seem like he’s enjoying the prospect of leaving, because it actually feels like ripping apart his soul. “We’re never going to be finished doing those things.”

Liam smiles ruefully up at him. “I know,” he murmurs again, and his eyes scream _I’m not ready_. _I’m not ready to be apart from you._

It’s his crystal blue eyes that will make Theo break every single damn time. Because he’s not ready either. He drops his shoes back onto the mat without breaking their gaze and watches the relief seep into Liam’s expression. Theo feels the tension that was building in his chest rapidly fade away as the decision is made, the toxic voices crushed in the flooding adoration emanating from the beta’s face. He can’t help but bridge the gap and press a quick, but emotion-filled kiss into Liam’s lips, the familiar pressure of them shaking away any traces of remaining anxiety or doubt. It’s remarkable how just this moment, this kiss, what feels oddly like a reunion; it makes anything that might follow unequivocally worth it.

 

“Talk to Scott,” Theo whispers against his lips before he pulls away, reminding him that the Alpha is still waiting on the line.

Liam blinks a few times, like his brain shut down automatically on contact, and Theo taps on the hand tightly grasping his phone with amusement. That seems to make things click and the beta physically and apparently mentally shakes himself, looking at the screen quickly to make sure they didn’t get disconnected before bringing it to his ear.

“Scott?” he asks, voice impressively normal, and Theo hears a sound of confirmation through the small speaker, followed by a mostly unintelligible question that makes Liam grin.

“No, I didn’t get attacked,” he says, rolling his eyes, and Theo snorts. Figures that would be the first place he’d go. Liam hesitates before following with, “I was just talking to someone.”

He knows precisely what the next question is going to be, so when the voice comes through, he can almost make out the exact words. Liam looks at him steadily before speaking, like he’s silently asking permission.

As much as it’s become Theo’s favourite pastime, they can’t exactly lie, here. Or, more accurately, he can’t find it in himself to ask Liam to lie. So, trying to shove down the growing apprehension, he nods once slowly. The beta swallows, trepidation creeping into his eyes, apparently more nervous about this than he initially let on; like he was expecting Theo to say no and bail him out of the situation. No such luck.

“It’s Theo,” he answers, without a hint of apology. There’s a silence that seems to last forever before Scott says a few short words firmly, and Liam mutters “hold on” before lowering the phone to press it against his pant leg. “He wants me to put it on speaker,” he explains quietly, and Theo’s stomach sinks.

He’s about to ordered to back off; to leave the pack alone and stop putting their lives in danger. He’s going to be reprimanded for almost getting everyone killed and laughed at for actually believing he’d be accepted into their family. Most of all, he’s about to be commanded to keep his distance from Scott’s first beta, and to expect to face punishment for the toxic influence he’s no doubt had. And it’s about to happen now, before anything could barely begin. There’s so much they haven’t done, haven’t said, haven’t experienced. It’s too soon, it’s too much, and he can’t stop it from happening. He can’t stop any of it.

Maybe the panic is showing on his face, because Liam reaches up quickly to place a hand firmly over his rapidly increasing heartbeat. “Ours,” he mouths silently, eyes searching desperately for recognition. It’s a reminder, a promise: no matter what anyone says, he’s not going anywhere. Neither of them are. No one can take this away from them. No one can take away what’s buried deep beneath their skin. Theo’s face softens almost immediately, a calm spreading through his limbs, smothering the automatic preparations already whirring in his head on how he can possibly make himself stay away. He feels his heart rate slowing down again, and the knowledge that Liam can feel it under his palm makes his head spin.

“Ours,” Theo agrees without a sound, and then soft lips are pressing into his with a passionate heat for too brief a moment before Liam pulls away, taking a step back with a deep breath to put the phone on speaker, holding it between them.

“You’re good,” he says in an even voice, looking at the floor and biting on a fingernail again in nervousness.

“Theo?” Scott’s voice asks, and Theo’s defenses go flying up at the sound of another person’s voice, especially one that’s obviously radiating uneasiness.

He resists the urge to clear his throat, knowing that will make him sound like the nervous Chimera that he actually is. “Yeah,” he answers, also looking away. “I’m here.”

There’s a quiet that lasts so long, Theo looks back at the phone wondering if they’ve been disconnected, but then the Alpha’s voice returns with a strained tone.

“You and I have a bit of a history, huh?”

Theo blinks, not entirely sure how he’s supposed to respond to that. Luckily he doesn’t have to, because before he can even open his mouth, Scott’s talking again.

“And I know that everyone has a history, that everyone makes mistakes, that everyone does things that they regret. I try to forgive when I can, but I’ve also been around long enough to know when to walk away.”

Liam bites so hard on the skin around his nail that it starts bleeding and Theo reaches to knock it away from his mouth with an impatient glance. The worried motion is making him even more nervous.

“You tried to overthrow me,” Scott continues firmly, “You tried to kill me and manipulate the people that I care about most. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to completely forget what you’ve done to my family.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Theo interjects evenly, not meeting Liam’s eyes.

“That’s good,” Scott returns, “It’s good that you’re not trying to ignore what’s happened between us. It’s even better that you’re showing that you want to be more than what you’ve been in the past. I see the positive things you’ve done for Beacon Hills, whatever your motivation. I wouldn’t be letting you near my pack if I didn’t. I wouldn't have relied on your contribution with the hunters if I didn't think that something inside you is trying to change."

The Alpha initiates another long gap of silence, during which Theo bites his tongue not to snap at him to get on with it, whatever he's going to say, to just talk already, get it out. Accept or deny, leave or stay, _something_. Anything is better than this moment of in between. And then finally,

“Liam told me that you’ve been voted into the pack,” Scott says steadily, and Theo holds his breath. “You know I have the authority to dissolve that vote.”

Liam’s hand shakes briefly before he grips the phone tightly to try and cover it. “Yeah,” Theo responds, keeping his emotions undetectable, “I guess you do.”

There’s another pause that stretches out long enough for Liam to open his mouth to protest, but Theo shakes his head sharply to stop him. This has to come Scott, and no one else.

There’s a large sigh that’s slightly distorted over the connection. Then,

“I’m not going to do that. If everyone else voted that you deserve to be there, then I’m not going to question their judgement. You’re in the pack.”

Theo lets out a heavy breath as relief floods his system, muscles relaxing, and Liam lets out a tiny noise of excitement, shoving Theo lightly in celebration.

“So I guess congratulations are in order,” Scott notes dryly, obviously listening to their reactions, “But first, there’s something that I’ve gotta get out, that I probably should've led with in the first place."

"That sounds ominous," Theo notes, his tone instantly becoming guarded again, but the Alpha just chuckles.

"No, it's really not. I actually wanted to thank you."

Both of them stare at the phone in disbelief, wondering if Scott McCall has been abducted and they’ve been talking to an imposter this whole time.

"Thank me?" Theo finally repeats, skepticism filling his blunt tone. "Really."

"Theo, go easy on me," Scott warns wearily, "I'm having to swallow pretty much every piece of my pride and summon all the patience that I possess here. But yes, I want to thank you.”

Liam’s still looking at his phone, but now has an odd expression on his face; the disbelief now mixed with something like pride and wonder. Theo blinks at the whole situation, but quietly agrees, “Alright.”

Scott sighs again, like he’s psyching himself up while simultaneously resigning himself to the task. “Liam told me what happened with Marner and Yasmin,” he begins evenly, “He told me what they wanted and why they wanted it. He told me what they were going to do to the pack because of those things in your past and their own hatred.”

Theo shifts his weight uncomfortably, not entirely certain where the thanks is going to come in. But then Scott’s voice softens.

“Liam also told me what you were willing to do to stop them.”

Oh. That’s where.

“Theo,” he continues quietly, “You tried to die to save my pack. You tried to die to save my beta from being tortured and killed.”

“Twice,” Liam chimes in for clarification, eyes sparkling, and Theo flicks him, but his lips twitch dangerously.

“Yes, alright, twice,” Scott relents, but Liam cuts him off again.

“I mean technically he tried to do it again during negotiations, which was actually pretty stupid, so it’s probably more like-”

“Shut up Liam,” Theo interjects, and momentarily startles at how Scott’s voice perfectly overlaps his with the same words and the same exasperated affection.

Liam grins at him from across the phone, apparently delighted at the flawless coordination, even if he was being told to be quiet. “Just thought I’d mention it,” he comments with a casual shrug.

“What I’m saying, Theo,” Scott tries again firmly, as if to stress that there should be no more interruptions, “Is that the sacrifice you were willing to make says a lot about your true intentions. And Liam felt it necessary to repeatedly point that out when we were discussing my final decision about the pack. He’s not wrong.”

A wave of guilt passes through him. While he had been debating on whether or not to let Liam have his house back, the beta had been busy solidifying his place in the pack. If Theo hadn’t been entirely certain that staying was the right decision, he sure as hell is now.

“So even after everything that’s happened in the past,” Scott continues with conviction, “I want to thank you for helping to save my family when I couldn’t be there to try myself. Thank you for having my beta’s back. And thank you for making the choices that mean we can have _this_ conversation instead of a very different one, and actually take another shot at this. You might not believe me, but I don’t _want_ to hate you, so it’s pretty awesome that I guess now I won’t have to.”

Theo has no idea how the hell to respond to all of that. He’s not used to being thanked. He not used to having someone in power give him not only a second chance, not a third chance, not a fourth chance, but however many dozens of chances that he’s successfully fucked up in the past. His mouth is stuck in an awkward position halfway open, words stuck in his throat. His eyes dart up to Liam helplessly, and he smirks happily, a teasing look in his eyes.

“He’s got that lost expression on his face that means he wants to say ‘you’re welcome’ but his pride is in the way,” Liam translates, raising an eyebrow.

Theo glares silently, but doesn’t clarify, because there’s really nothing to correct. Still, he feels the need to say something himself, so he clears his throat and adds, “No, I really appreciate you saying that Scott. That means a lot, especially after... everything.” He looks away, not able to handle forcing out genuine words to the Alpha on top of Liam watching him closely. “It’d be cool to not want to kill each other all the time. Weird, but still cool.”

Scott chuckles, not nitpicking at how Theo was really the only person who actually tried to kill anyone, like he’s honestly giving their uneasy relationship an effort. And maybe he is. “Sounds good to me,” he agrees, and for a second there, his voice almost sounds warm.

There’s a quiet interlude while the Alpha grabs something for a faraway yelling Stiles, and Liam takes the opportunity to get his attention and raise both eyebrows, looking impressed, as if to say _So that was a big thing._ Theo lips twitch slightly upwards, but he shrugs his shoulders. _Yeah, guess so._ Liam immediately rolls his eyes in response, not buying bullshit nonchalance for a second.

 

“So,” Scott starts the second he gets back, drawing out of the syllable in a suggestive way that makes Theo certain of what’s about to come next. “It’s pretty early for you guys to be hanging out. On a Sunday.”

Liam bites his lip, looking mildly torn, and Theo tries to supress a smirk at his reluctance. It’s almost hilarious how embarrassed the werewolf can be about their relationship considering the explicit words and phrases that were falling out of his mouth not even twelve hours ago. Still. This is Scott. The guy is practically Liam’s older brother, and apparently his new Alpha. So it’s important. Especially considering how big of an impact he can make if he so chooses.

“That’s a long pause,” Scott notes dryly, and the knowing lilt in his tone makes Theo think he knows exactly what’s going on. It’s not like there are very many options that make sense at this point other than the truth. 

He raises his eyebrows at Liam, tilting his head slightly, silently conveying _nowhere to go from here except…_

“We did a thing,” the beta blurts, covering his eyes with a hand and lowering his head, unable to see Theo’s lips straining to withhold laughter at his distress and lack of eloquence.

“A thing,” Scott repeats slowly, and there’s a slight tremor, like he’s poorly concealing his enjoyment at the response.

“Yeah, y’know,” Liam says weakly, hand raising to tug on his hair, still averting his eyes “A thing? With someone who you like? Really, really, _really_ like? Or who you trust, or care about, or wanna be with, or wake up next to? That thing?”

“We’ve actually done several things,” Theo comments helpfully, unable to help himself, and Liam punches his arm, hard, finally making eye contact to glare sharply.

“Not helping,” he mouths angrily, but Scott’s clearing his throat to cover up an aborted laugh, clearly not too scarred.

“Yeah, okay Liam” he replies, and Theo can almost see him shaking his head with an exasperated smile, “I know the thing, stop torturing yourself.”

“You’re not mad?” Liam asks in a hushed tone, eyes widening at the phone.

There’s a brief silence.

“Do I even have a choice to decide what happens between you two?” Scott finally asks, voice unreadable without facial cues, but it sounds like a genuine question.

Theo looks up seriously. They’ve addressed this one their own, but it’s a whole other thing to say out loud to your best friend, brother and leader. Liam stares into his eyes, seemingly for strength, only hesitating for a brief moment before answering; and the sheer unshakable determination makes his chest warm.

“No. You don’t.”

They keep their gaze, finding safety in it, until Scott exhales.

“Good,” he says quietly, “That’s not my job and it’s not my place unless I thought you were in danger. If you’re certain enough about this to say no to me like that, then I know that it’s something important, and something worth protecting. I mean, no offense Theo, you wouldn’t exactly be my first choice for my first beta-”

Theo rolls his eyes, and it baffles him how people continue to announce his unworthiness for anything or anyone good like it’s news.

“-but I know that you’re good for him. And that you anchor him. That you challenge him. That you’ll try to do everything you can to protect him. I don’t know a whole lot about you that’s for certain, but I know that.”

Theo blinks at the phone, words escaping him. Because that _is_ news. Liam pokes his arm, drawing his attention back up to a developing grin. No, they didn’t _need_ approval, but it feels damn good to get it anyway.

“Does the rest of the pack know?” Scott asks carefully, and Liam’s entertained expression drops in a second.

“We were kind of discussing that before you called,” the beta says slowly, not meeting Theo’s eyes, and the pieces of the earlier puzzle click together. Well, that certainly explains Liam’s earlier preoccupation. He’s still looking down, fingers playing with the small holes he punctured into Theo’s shirt with the hand not holding the phone between them, as if remembering the circumstances. His eyebrows are bunched together, muscles tight in his neck and shoulders, like his mind is pulling him under a barrage of overwhelming possibilities.

“Actually,” Theo observes, breaking the short silence and making Liam’s head shoot up, cut away from his heavy thoughts, “if we want to be specific here, your beta was doing everything in his power _not_ to talk about it. Except being so horribly obvious that I had to attempt dragging it out of him.”

Liam glares viciously at him, but Scott starts chuckling.

“Yeah,” he muses over the phone, like he’s remembering a memory himself, but a much happier one. “He does that. Did he try hiding under the covers? Because that’s a good one.”

Theo snorts, because the mental picture in his head is just too perfect, but as he opens his mouth to answer he’s cut off.

“Okay, first of all, I’m _right_ here,” Liam snaps, directing his murderous glances between Theo and his phone, as if the look can be transmitted through the device. “Second, no I don’t do that, and third, you guys don’t get to just gang up on me now!”

Theo’s eyebrows go up in amusement. “Really?” he asks, crossing his arms, “Because I think this is a wonderful opportunity to encourage pack bonding, or whatever it is you’re always talking about that I’m not doing. And besides,” his lips twitch dangerously towards a smile, “would you prefer it if I lied to him?”

“Well, you’re lying to him now!” Liam retorts hotly, but his flushing cheeks reveal his slight deceit. “I _was_ telling you about it!”

“Was that before or after you attempted to rip one of my only remaining good shirts?” Theo responds with faux innocence, tilting his head just enough to get a reaction.

“ _Before_ ,” Liam grits out, “And I was getting to it. I was just trying to work my way up to it.”

“Oh, is that what you were doing?” Theo asks sarcastically, and before Liam can bite out another fierce response, Scott starts laughing genuinely over the speaker, making them both jump slightly, like they somehow forgot it wasn’t just them in the conversation.

“Well, you two still sound the same,” Scott comments easily. Liam looks slightly embarrassed at his words, partially hiding his face by looking down, almost concealing the growing smile.

“Same,” Theo concedes carefully, looking at Liam’s still slightly swollen lips, “but different.”

“That’s how it was with me and Malia,” Scott admits. “And a word of advice, I know you haven’t discussed this together, and I’m not going to force you, but I really think you should tell everyone when you’re ready.”

No one talks for a minute. Theo honestly doesn’t give a shit if they tell the rest of the pack. It was only _Scott_ he was slightly worried about, and if he would order them apart. The only real possible remaining roadblock is Mason; if Liam’s best friend is fully against this, then they might have a problem. But even so, Theo’s already existed for most of his life with people hating him. If they hate him for this, then so be it. It’s worth every second. The judgements and the talk are going to come down much harder on Liam, who values everyone’s opinion like diamonds. The thing is, the beta’s used to taking crap for hanging around Theo so much, and it never stopped him before. This reaction will likely be a much more intense version of that previous incredulous disgust.

“But they’re never going to be ready,” Liam says in a hushed voice, tone bordering on misery. “Not for this.”

“Why?” Theo asks quietly, getting right to the point. “Because I’m me?”

“Yes!” Liam blurts, then his eyes shutter in vague horror as he realizes what he just said. “Wait, no. I mean, yes, but also no? I mean-”

Theo tries to look serious, but is inwardly heaving with laughter at the way the werewolf is scrambling. He’s genuinely not offended if that is the reason. It’s not like it’s a secret, what he’s done in the past. Everyone’s well aware. It’s probably ridiculous to pretend that it’s not a factor, but right now he’s content to watch Liam stumble his away around the topic.

“I just mean that they’re protective of me and for a long time, people needed to be protected from _you_. You were the enemy, and some of them just haven’t fully made the switch that you’re not still that same person. So the second that this comes out, they’re going to try to protect me again. Even when I don’t need it.”

“So they know that I’m dangerous,” Theo summarizes, crossing his arms, “And will think that now we’re together, it’s going to be easier for me to hurt you. Because you would definitely choose to be with someone who wants to hurt you.”

“They don’t know you like I do,” Liam clarifies, “So they don’t get it. They don’t get why everything happened the way it did, or why you act like…” he smirks obviously before concluding, “Like a giant asshole who is offended by everyone else’s existence.”

Theo gives him an obligatory kick in the shin for that last comment before seriously pointing out, “It’s not that they don’t _know_ why, they just don’t care enough to figure it out. You did. But for them, as long as I’m out of the way and not hurting anyone, they quite happy to forget that I exist. Which generally is perfectly fine with me.” He uncrosses his arms, sighing. “But between me being in the pack _and_ us being together, it’s about to become very hard to ignore my presence, like it or not.”

“That is,” Liam starts hesitantly, eyes flicking away and back, like he can’t make himself maintain steady contact, “unless we don’t tell them.”

Theo keeps his features even, not betraying anything. If it’s a deal breaker, he’ll keep his mouth shut. But it would make things a lot easier if Liam wasn’t constantly worrying about if their actions are too obvious. “We all know I’m good at secrets,” he finally comments dryly.

But the beta shakes his head, like he can’t quite settle with that. There’s an edge of disbelief when he asks, still looking away, “You wouldn’t care if I told you not to mention what we do together? You wouldn’t want to let anything slip? Not even a tease?”

His mind automatically lets out a bitter laugh, whispering that Liam’s only asking that because he believes Theo’s going to blackmail him, that maybe he’s still a little bit evil. But he’s knows that’s bullshit, knows the beta doesn’t think he’s using their bond for leverage; so he tries to shove that voice aside and trust that Liam’s telling him exactly what he means. It’s a foreign concept, but it’s them.

“I won’t say anything if you tell me you don’t want to,” Theo says firmly, gently holding Liam’s chin for moment so he can look straight into the elusive blue eyes. “I wouldn’t out our relationship like that if you’re not okay with it. Not if you’re not ready.”

"Theo,” Scott muses, startling them both again with the sound of his voice, "you have no idea how disconcerting it is for me to hear you to say something and realize that I genuinely believe it."

Theo tries to ignore the part of himself that’s mildly insulted at that comment, because it’s honestly quite understandable. He's actually tempted to say that he probably has a pretty good idea how disconcerting it is seeing as now he can occasionally trust what comes out of his own mouth, but instead settles for, "Probably not."

Liam looks at him with a sparkle in his eyes, like he knows that’s a lie. Which he probably does.

“Liam,” Scott interjects patiently, switching gears, “Would it help if I told you that I’ve been waiting for this conversation about you two for months now?”

They both freeze, staring at each other.

“What?” Liam whispers, apparently unable to make the register any higher.

“It’s pretty hard to miss,” the Alpha admits, “at least for everyone else who cares about you looking in. All the indications are there. The looks, the touches, the constant need to yell and start fights just to talk to each other while simultaneously making sure the other person is out of the line of fire. There are only so many shirts that can be unnecessarily ripped before you start to wonder.” Liam blushes deeply at that, and Theo can’t help but bite his tongue, trying to relieve some of the pressure of self-consciousness. He’s supposed to be a master at concealing his emotions. Apparently not with his werewolf.

“I wasn’t certain,” Scott clarifies, “but I was pretty damn sure something was going on. So I’ve had a bit of time to wrap my head around the whole thing.”

“How long did _that_ take?” Theo asks cautiously, morbidly curious.

There’s a pause before he answers, “It was easier after I saw you changing. I needed to know that you weren’t going to hurt or influence my beta.” The word “again” doesn’t need to be verbally tacked on to the end of that sentence to still be present.

“But what about the others?” Liam presses, getting them back on track. “How the hell am I supposed to prepare _them_?”

“Liam, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Scott mentions, trying to sound serious but barely concealing his laughter, “But I’m pretty sure the rest of the pack will be experiencing about as little shock as I am right now.” Liam covers his rapidly reddening face with his hand, and Theo stares at the phone with wide eyes. “Possibly even less shock, depending on who we’re talking about,” the Alpha adds, not even bothering to smother his chuckle this time, and Liam groans quietly like he’d prefer the ground swallows him up at this particular moment. Theo’s gone down that road, and getting dragged underground isn’t exactly as much of an escape as it’s romanticized to be. Even still, Liam looks like his world is casually splitting in two.

“Alright, I’m thinking maybe we should hang up before we melt the beta’s brain,” Theo comments with a trace of amusement, reaching across to place a steady hand on Liam’s hip, because even if another person’s voice is here, they’re still physically alone, and the werewolf looks like he’s about to implode.

Scott laughs quietly. “Yeah, okay,” he agrees, hesitating slightly before stressing firmly, “Take care of him.” The words are laden with meaning; and the Alpha is _not_ just referring to this particular instance.

Liam lowers his hand to make an exasperated face at the protectiveness, but Theo’s heart skips a beat and he takes a step closer, because these aren’t words he’d commit to just anyone. “I will,” he says quietly, drawing Liam’s widening eyes at how the certainty and seriousness sounds like a promise. Probably because it is one.

“And don’t kiss while I’m still on the phone,” Scott implores wearily, apparently still perceptive even without sight, but Liam is clearly not listening, staring at Theo’s lips and wrapping his free arm around his waist.

“I’d hang up then,” Theo warns with a dark smile, and the call disconnects almost instantly. He grabs the phone from Liam’s hand, tossing it on top of his duffel bag, and he barely has a chance to turn back around before insistent lips are capturing his, heat instantly sparking to life. Theo smiles amusedly into the kiss, but drags the beta’s hips against his own as Liam holds on tight, like he wants to mold their bodies permanently together. It doesn’t take much to make them fall deeper; for the soft sounds to escape them both, for every touch to feel sacred, for the need to wash over them like a wave of fire, for everything to get faster and more desperate, for the rest of the world to seamlessly fall away once again.

Maybe they don’t have much time of this weekend left, and maybe staying here longer is going to make it that much harder to leave. But Theo honestly can’t find the strength to deny himself Liam’s body and mind and soul for just a little bit longer. Maybe he wants to give in - because what he has at this moment is what he’s been craving his whole life without fully believing that he could ever have it. He can’t let go now.

So he’ll hold on. He’ll hold on for as long as they can possibly have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a bit different than the others, but hopefully you still enjoyed it? I'm afraid the real world has started to seep back into their paradise, but no worries, we're back to just them for the next (and final!) chapter of this story. You'll be getting some serious fluff, because really, that's what this is, and I love writing it. And _yes_ I did just make Theo almost leave for real this time (the first one was a bit of foreshadowing/trial run and you all lost your minds a little bit, so I hope you're okay now!!! It wasn't for good! He's a little broken, he can't help it! Alright, I'll stop defending him. They're together, everything's fine, deep breaths...)
> 
> And again, oh man. Just _life_ , guys. I am so sorry once again for getting so behind on replying to comments, but I'll be getting right on that as soon as this chapter is up. I didn't want to make you wait any longer for another update. Honestly, you guys just make my day with your replies though, so please don't think the lack of response is out of apathy - it's purely life getting in the way. Honestly, a shitty day automatically gets a little bit brighter when I hear from someone who liked a chapter, so I owe you the world for that. Love you all so much, and thank you for all the thoughts and care. You're wonderful humans <3


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